#and reassure him the whole time through even though hes in so much pain and has spent so much time scared
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eyepatch69 · 3 days ago
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Sandor Clegane life Headcanons
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Au: Thank you so much for being my first request ever! It was never my intention for these to take so long. I didn't want this to suck and I definitely didn't wanna mis-characterize Sandor so I hope these are good! I overthinked this a lot but i'm trying not to think so hard anymore. I am also very open to feedback as well! 
i will prob come back and make the post look better sometime
Request for @lucasnucas !
Sandor doesn’t go back king’s landing to kill his brother for revenge, but instead he stays with the reader to do whatever they do. What kind of life would he live after? Would he start a family with the reader?
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I personally like to imagine you were in King's Landing living in the red keep for whatever reason. Perhaps you were to be wed to a lord or you're a lannister or baratheon. Either way you fell in love with Sandor and during the battle of the blackwater you went with him when he left. And you were with him for everything since, etc. Blah blah blah anyway that's what I like to think, which is the thought I had in mind when I wrote these. 
Both you and Sandor remained in Winterfell. After all, it's the best decision for the foreseeable future as winter is here. Neither of you had plans for what to do next either, and not having a reliable place to stay during winter would really suck. 
Loving to have you around. Though Sandor would never admit it, he's glad he actually has time to spend with you now in a safe environment. It's not like you guys weren't “spending time” together, but you both don't need to do anything or go anywhere. Considering you two were always on the go and dealing with the wight battle. 
Sandor tries to live a normalish life with you. With everything being calmed down Sandor just wants everything to be ok. And he has that now, knowing that your warm and safe and have a belly full of food.
He's more open to you.  After knowing you for years and going through a lot he's more open to telling you things. He never expected you to be in his life, let alone expect this future with you. He loves you a lot. 
Doing more for others. He's been helpful around winterfell, it's what he does most days. Queen Sansa thinks it's most kind of him.  
No Children. Sandor does not want kids. Everything that has happened in his life, he doesnt have such a desire to have them. He also thinks he would be a terrible father no matter how many times you reassure him. Perhaps you would get a simple dog to have around. A hound. 
Not exactly married. Sandor loves you and you will always be his, but you would never be officially married nor have a big wedding. You're his and that's all that matters. (Perhaps Sansa would have it so you were officially married?)
Random headcanon. Sandor likes washing your hair. He's glad he has someone like you in his life, and is honored to be your protector. He gets to be super gentle and have those moments with you, it just brings him peace. 
Children alternative (if u want kids)
Sandor's feelings change (or maybe it wasn't planned). You both bring a child into the world. He's happy he gets the opportunity to even have one with you. 
Labouring. He would be at your bedside the whole time, holding your hand and being very sweet to you knowing you're in such pain. 
Doubtful. He would be very unsure of what he's even doing at first. Doubting himself about being good enough or doing the right thing.
He's super gentle. He loves you both dearly. He won't believe you when you tell him, but he's a good father.
Nickname. Depending on the gender of your newborn. He calls them either “little boy” or “little girl”.
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vanteguccir · 6 months ago
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── ୨୧ ! 𝟵 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗛𝗦 𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥
         𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader
SUMMARY: Where Y/N's and Matt's babies are finally born after 9 long months of waiting; OR, where Matt is finally a dad.
WARNING: Pregnancy, crying, mentions of labor, pain.
REQUESTED?: Yes, by anon.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism, copy, or "inspiration"! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.
A/N²: I cried while writing this one, it totally melted my heart 🥺
   ༻✦༺  ༻✧༺ ༻✦༺
The contractions hit Y/N like a tidal wave, her breath catching in her throat as she gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, her knuckles turning white. The pain radiated from her lower back, wrapping around to her abdomen in tight, relentless waves. She sucked in a sharp breath, her heart pounding in her chest.
They had been waiting for this moment for nine long months, and yet, now that it was here, the reality of it was almost overwhelming. She tried to call out for Matt, her voice wavering, but the pain was so intense that it felt as if it was squeezing the sound right out of her.
Matt was in the living room, his eyes glued to his laptop as he reviewed some emails. It had been a busy few weeks leading up to the due date, and he was trying to get ahead of things before the twins arrived.
The sound of Y/N’s voice, strained and filled with pain, cut through his concentration like a knife. His head snapped up, his heart skipping a beat. He leaped from the couch, knocking his laptop to the floor, and sprinted into the kitchen, his heart racing with panic.
"Honey? What’s wrong? Is it- oh God, it’s happening, isn't it?" Matt’s voice was a mixture of excitement and sheer panic as he reached her side. He placed a gentle but trembling hand on her back, his eyes wide with concern as he watched her struggle to breathe through the contraction. "Breathe, baby, breathe. Do you need water? No, wait- sit down. Should you sit? Or should you lie down? Oh my God, I should call 911!"
Y/N squeezed his hand, her face scrunched up in pain, but she managed a breathless laugh.
"Matt, relax... it’s okay. Just-" She interrupted her own sentence when a new wave of pain invaded her whole body.
"Come here, sweetheart." Matt gently guided Y/N to the edge of the kitchen chair, his expression shifting from sheer panic to a momentary calmness, trying to ground himself in the situation.
He knelt down in front of her, his hands trembling slightly as he placed them on her knees. His eyes, wide with worry, locked onto hers as he tried to steady his breathing.
"How long has this been going on?" His voice held a perfect mix of calmness and nerves, the gravity of the situation starting to dawn on him. He reached out instinctively, his hand gently resting on her stomach, feeling the tension in her muscles.
"Oh God, I don’t know." Y/N replied, wincing as another contraction hit, this one even stronger. She grasped Matt's hand tightly, her grip involuntarily squeezing his fingers. "Maybe an hour or so... but it’s so much worse right now."
Matt’s eyes widened, the shock and concern evident in his expression. He swallowed hard, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke.
"Okay, okay, don’t panic." His voice was a bit firmer now, though a subtle tremble betrayed his nerves. He gently cupped her face in his hands, his touch warm and reassuring as he looked deeply into her eyes. "We need to time these contractions, okay? See if they’re far apart or getting closer together..."
Y/N nodded weakly, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she tried to focus on his words. Matt quickly grabbed his phone, fumbling with it slightly as he opened the timer app. He sat back on his heels, his eyes darting between the screen and Y/N's face, waiting for the next contraction to hit.
When it did, she squeezed his hand again, and he hit the timer. They both watched the seconds tick by, the silence in the room only broken by Y/N's labored breathing. The contraction passed, and Matt stopped the timer, noting the time with a furrowed brow.
"Okay, that was... three minutes." He said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked up at her, his heart pounding in his chest. "We’re close, Y/N. We need to get you to the hospital now."
He helped her to her feet, moving with a newfound urgency but still managing to maintain a steady calmness, knowing he had to be strong for her. He wrapped an arm around her waist, supporting her as they made their way out to the car, his determination stronger than ever.
He opened the passenger door of their car, gently easing her into the seat before rushing to the driver’s side.
"Matt, the... the bag."
"Right! The bag!" Matt practically yelled as if suddenly remembering the concept of bag. "I'm gonna be right back, baby!"
He darted back to the house, running around the kitchen like a man possessed, searching for the hospital bag they had packed weeks ago. He spotted it by the door and grabbed it, nearly tripping over his own feet in his rush to get back to Y/N.
"Here, I’ve got the bag! And... what else? Do we need snacks? Maybe you want something to eat before we go?"
Y/N's response was a groan as another contraction hit, stronger this time.
"Okay, no snacks, got it. We’re going to the hospital now, I promise. I’ll get you there, Y/N. I won’t let anything happen to you or the babies, okay?"
As he started the car, his mind raced. He had planned for this moment, had rehearsed it in his head a thousand times, but now that it was happening, he felt completely unprepared. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white, and he glanced over at Y/N, who was trying to remain calm despite the pain.
Matt hated seeing her in so much pain, his heart aching with every sharp intake of breath she made.
"Okay, okay, we’re going. We’re going." He muttered to himself as he pulled out of the driveway, his voice a mix of determination and barely contained panic. The streets of Los Angeles blurred past them as he sped toward the hospital, his mind racing with all the things he needed to do.
"Siri!" He suddenly barked at the car’s dashboard, his voice urgent. "Send a text to Chris and Nick."
"What would you like to say?" Siri responded in its calm, robotic tone.
"Um... Uh..." Matt hesitated, trying to form a coherent sentence as he glanced nervously at Y/N, who was breathing heavily beside him. "Tell them... we’re on our way to the hospital. Y/N's in labor. Get there by tomorrow morning. And don’t panic like I am because... just get there!"
"Sending message to Chris and Nick." Siri confirmed, and Matt let out a shaky breath, his hands trembling as he continued driving.
Y/N chuckled softly, despite the pain, and Matt shot her a quick, incredulous look.
"What? What's funny?"
"You are." She managed to say between contractions. "You're... adorable when you're freaking out."
Matt’s face flushed as he gave her a sheepish grin.
"I'm just trying to keep it together here, baby. You’re the one doing all the hard work."
"Trust me... I know." She replied, wincing as another contraction rolled through her.
Finally, they pulled up to the hospital entrance, and Matt jumped out of the car, nearly forgetting to put it in park in his haste to get to Y/N's side. He waved frantically at a nurse standing nearby, who immediately came over with a wheelchair.
"She's in labor! It's happening! We need to- she needs- help!" Matt's words tumbled out in a rush as he helped Y/N into the wheelchair, his voice rising in pitch with every word.
The nurse smiled reassuringly, clearly used to panicked fathers-to-be, and guided them inside.
"Don’t worry, we'll take good care of her. Just follow me."
As they were whisked away to the delivery room, Matt's heart pounded in his chest, his mind racing with thoughts of what was about to happen. He couldn't believe that in just a few hours, they would finally meet their babies.
Once in the right room, Y/N was settled onto the bed, her breaths coming in short, sharp bursts as the contractions intensified. Matt stayed by her side, clutching her hand as if it was his only lifeline. He leaned in close, his voice trembling but filled with love as he whispered,
"You’re doing amazing, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you."
Y/N squeezed his hand, her eyes locking onto his.
"I need you to stay calm, okay? We've got this... together."
Matt nodded, swallowing hard as he brushed a few strands of hair from her face.
"Together. I’m right here with you, every step of the way."
The room buzzed with activity, doctors and nurses moving around with practiced efficiency, but all Matt could focus on was Y/N’s face, her eyes squeezed shut as she battled through another contraction.
Time seemed to warp in the delivery room. Minutes stretched into hours, the pain of each contraction relentless, only broken by brief moments of respite. Matt stayed by Y/N’s side, his voice soft and steady as he encouraged her, even though his own nerves were frayed to the core. He watched the monitors anxiously, every beep and flicker, causing his heart to jump.
"Matt." Y/N whispered, her voice trembling with exhaustion as another contraction hit. "I can’t... I don’t know if I can do this."
Matt’s heart broke at the sight of her so vulnerable, so exhausted. He took a deep breath, brushing a few strands of hair away from her sweaty forehead and leaning in close, his lips brushing her temple.
"You’re the strongest person I know." He murmured, his voice thick with emotion. "You’ve got this, baby. I’m right here with you. And in the end, everything will be worth it, yeah?"
Hours later, after what felt like a lifetime of labor, the doctor finally said the words they had been waiting to hear.
"It's time to push."
Y/N gritted her teeth, her entire body trembling with the effort as she bore down, Matt’s hand in hers, his words of encouragement a constant in the whirlwind of pain and exhaustion. The room seemed to close in around them, everything else fading away as they focused on bringing their babies into the world.
"Breath." Matt murmured, his hand gently rubbing her tense shoulders. "Just focus on your breathing. In and out, slow and steady. You got this, sweet girl. It's almost ending."
The first cry shattered the tension in the room, a tiny wail that echoed in Matt’s ears like the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. He watched in awe as the doctor carefully lifted their first baby - a tiny, wriggling girl - into the air.
Time seemed to freeze as the nurse quickly wrapped her in a blanket and handed her to Y/N. Matt felt tears well up in his eyes as he looked down at his daughter for the first time. She was perfect, with a shock of dark hair and rosy cheeks, her eyes squeezed shut as she continued to cry.
"She’s beautiful." Y/N whispered, tears streaming down her face as she cradled their daughter against her chest, gluing her small head to her chin. Matt leaned down, pressing a kiss to Y/N’s forehead, his own tears finally spilling over.
But the moment was short-lived as Y/N was hit with another wave of contractions. The doctor quickly reminded them that there was still one more baby to bring into the world, taking their daughter away from them so Y/N could concentrate.
"One more, honey. Just one more. You can do this. You're so strong, I know you can." Y/N, though exhausted, steeled herself for the final round, and with Matt’s unwavering support, she pushed again.
Minutes later, another cry filled the room, this one just as heart-wrenching and beautiful as the first. Their son was born, his tiny fists clenched as he wailed with the full force of his little lungs.
"I don't... I don't know how to hold- Oh, okay." The nurse placed him in Matt’s arms, ignoring his sentence. He stared down at his son in awe, his arms trembling with fear of holding him in the wrong way, or worse, dropping him.
The baby boy was the spitting image of his sister, with the same dark hair and tiny features, though his cries were slightly less intense.
"He's... he's so small." Matt whispered in awe.
Matt’s breath caught in his throat as he carried his son over to Y/N - who was already holding their girl again -, his heart swelling with a love so profound it was almost overwhelming. He gently placed their son in Y/N’s free arm, and for the first time, they looked down at their twins together, their hearts filled with an indescribable mixture of joy, relief, and pure, unconditional love.
"We did it." Y/N whispered, her voice trembling with emotion as she looked up at Matt, tears streaming down her cheeks. "They’re here, and they’re perfect."
Matt could only nod, his throat too tight with emotion to speak. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his daughter’s tiny forehead, then his son’s, feeling the warmth of their little bodies against his skin. They were so small, so fragile, and yet so full of life.
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The next morning, the first rays of sunlight filtered through the blinds of the hospital room, casting a warm glow over the quiet scene. Y/N was resting peacefully, her exhaustion from the previous night’s labor evident in the serene expression on her face as she slept. The twins were nestled in their bassinets beside the bed, their tiny chests rising and falling in a synchronized rhythm, the only sounds in the room being their soft breathing.
Matt sat in the armchair near the window, his eyes moving between Y/N and their newborns, a small smile playing on his lips. He had hardly slept, but he didn’t mind. He was too filled with wonder, still wrapping his mind around the fact that he was now a father to two perfect little beings. The magnitude of the moment wasn’t lost on him, and every time he looked at his family, his heart swelled with a mixture of pride and overwhelming love.
Just then, a soft knock on the door drew Matt’s attention. He stood up quickly, careful not to disturb Y/N, and opened the door to find Nick and Chris standing in the hallway. Both of his brothers looked a little disheveled, their hair slightly messy from a night of restless sleep. Chris held a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and Nick had a stuffed animal - a small bear with a yellow bow - tucked under his arm. The moment they saw Matt, their faces broke into wide grins.
"Hey, Dad." Nick joked softly, giving Matt a one-armed hug while still holding the bear. "How’s it feel?"
Matt chuckled, the sound low and full of affection.
"Surreal." He admitted, stepping back to let them in. "Come on, they’re right over here."
Chris was the first to approach the bassinets, his breath catching as he looked down at the sleeping twins. He placed the bouquet on a nearby table, his hands trembling slightly as he reached out, but then hesitated, as if afraid to disturb the peaceful scene. Nick followed, standing beside him, his eyes wide as he took in the sight of his new niece and nephew.
"They’re so tiny." Chris whispered, his voice cracking as he looked over at Matt, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Oh, my God, Matt... they’re so small."
Nick nodded, his usual bravado momentarily stripping away as he gazed at the twins.
"Yeah." He added, his voice uncharacteristically soft. "How is this possible?"
Matt felt a lump form in his throat, seeing the raw emotion on his brothers’ faces. He watched as Chris finally let out a shaky breath and reached down, his fingers gently brushing against his niece’s tiny hand. The touch seemed to undo him completely, and within seconds, tears spilled over, streaming down his cheeks.
"Chris." Matt said softly, his voice full of understanding as he placed a comforting hand on his brother’s shoulder. "It’s okay, man."
But Chris couldn’t find the words to respond. Instead, he just nodded, tears continuing to fall as he stood there, overwhelmed by the sight of his niece and nephew. He had always been the emotional one, the heart-on-his-sleeve brother, and in this moment, he felt everything with an intensity that was impossible to contain.
Nick, on the other hand, was struggling to maintain his composure. He swallowed hard, his jaw clenched as he fought back the tears that threatened to spill over. He wanted to be strong, to keep it together, but seeing Chris break down and knowing just how much this moment meant, even he couldn’t hold back completely. He let out a shaky breath, wiping his eyes quickly.
Matt noticed Nick’s struggle and gave him a reassuring smile.
"It’s okay to cry, you know." He said quietly, his own eyes misting over. "They’re your niece and nephew. This is a big moment."
Nick managed a small, watery laugh, shaking his head.
"Yeah, yeah." He muttered, his voice thick with emotion.
Matt grinned, pulling both of his brothers into a tight hug. The three of them stood there for a moment, embracing each other, their silent bond stronger than ever before. When they finally pulled away, Chris wiped at his eyes, sniffling a little as he turned back to the twins.
"Can we hold them?" Chris asked, his voice still shaky but filled with awe.
"Of course." Matt replied, his heart warming at the thought of his brothers meeting their niece and nephew properly. He carefully lifted his son from the bassinet, gently cradling the tiny bundle before handing him to Chris. "This is your nephew." He said, watching as Chris took the baby with the utmost care, as if he were the most delicate thing in the world.
Chris’s breath hitched as he looked down at the baby in his arms.
"Hey, little guy." He whispered, his voice choked with emotion. "I’m your Uncle Chris. You’re going to be so loved, I promise."
Nick took his niece from Matt, holding her close, his eyes wide with wonder as he gazed at her tiny features.
"Hi, princess." He murmured, his voice soft. "I’m your Uncle Nick. And don’t worry, I’ll always have your back. You’re in good hands."
He cleared his throat, blinking rapidly, but when the little girl's tiny hand grasped his finger, Nick’s composure slipped. He bit his lip, trying to hold back the tears, but a few escaped, trailing down his cheeks.
"They're perfect... You and Y/N did good, Matt."
Matt felt his own eyes sting with tears as he watched his brothers, their love for his children evident in every trembling breath, every tear they tried to hold back.
"They really are." He whispered, his voice filled with pride as he watched his brothers bond with their niece and nephew.
The soft rustling of sheets drew Matt’s attention back to the bed, and he saw Y/N slowly stirring, her eyes fluttering open. She looked groggy, her movements sluggish as she tried to orient herself.
"Matt?" She called out, her voice hoarse and weak, a faint frown creasing her brow as she tried to sit up.
Matt was by her side in an instant, his hand gently brushing her hair back.
"I'm here, baby." He said softly, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "The babies are right here, and Nick and Chris are with us."
Y/N’s gaze shifted to where Nick and Chris stood, each cradling a baby in their arms. Her eyes softened, a sleepy smile tugging at her lips as she saw them.
"Hey, guys." She murmured, her voice raspy but filled with warmth.
"Hey, Y/N." Chris replied, his voice thick with emotion as he carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, still holding the baby boy close to his chest. "How are you feeling?"
"Like I’ve been hit by a truck." Y/N joked weakly, managing a small laugh despite her exhaustion. She reached out for Matt, her eyes pleading for his help. "Can you help me sit up? I want to hold them."
"Of course." Matt said, his voice tender as he gently supported her back, helping her sit up against the pillows. He adjusted the bed to make her more comfortable, his movements careful and precise, always mindful of her comfort.
Once she was settled, Y/N looked at her babies, a rush of love flooding her system. Chris carefully handed her their son, his eyes shining with unshed tears as he watched Y/N cradle the tiny bundle in her arms. The baby boy squirmed slightly, his little face scrunching up as he nestled into Y/N’s embrace, and Y/N felt her heart melt at the sight.
"Hi, sweet boy." Y/N whispered, tears slipping down her cheeks as she pressed a soft kiss to her son's forehead. "Mommy’s here."
Nick, still holding their daughter, hesitated for a moment before offering her to Matt, a silent question in his eyes. Matt nodded, and Nick carefully placed the baby girl into his brother’s arms. The little girl yawned, her tiny fist curling up near her face, and Matt felt his heart swell with a fierce, protective love as he looked down at his daughter.
"She's got your eyes." Nick teased softly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.
"And her nose." Chris added, his voice still wavering with emotion.
Y/N smiled, looking at Matt, who was gazing down at their daughter with such love and awe that it made her heart ache in the best way. She could see the tears in his eyes, the overwhelming emotion that he was trying so hard to keep in check, and it made her love him even more.
"It's like I've waited my whole life for this moment."
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"Ready?" Matt asked, his voice soft as he looked over at Y/N, his heart pounding in his chest.
Y/N nodded, her eyes shining with unshed tears as she gazed back at him.
"Ready." She whispered, her voice steady, filled with a quiet determination.
They walked up the path of their house together, Matt balancing his baby boy in one arm while Y/N held onto his other arm. The front door, painted in a cheerful shade of brown, seemed to welcome them home as they stepped inside. The familiar scent of home - fresh linen, a hint of lavender, and the comforting smell of wood - washed over them as they crossed the threshold.
Matt paused in the entryway, taking a deep breath as he looked around. Everything was exactly as they had left it, but now it felt different, infused with the anticipation of this new chapter.
"Welcome home, little lovies." Y/N whispered, leaning down and brushing her lips against her daughter’s small head covered by her light pink beanie.
Matt led the way, his steps slow and deliberate as he carried their son into the living room. He paused in the center of the room, turning in a slow circle as he looked around.
"Look, little guy, this is where we'll spend most of our time together." He said softly, his voice taking on a warm, inviting tone as if he were talking directly to the babies. "Right here, in this room. We'll have family movie nights, and you’ll play with your many toys on the rug... and when you’re a little bigger, we’ll build forts with blankets and cushions."
Y/N followed him, her heart swelling with love as she listened to him talk. She could see it all so clearly in her mind; tiny feet pattering across the hardwood floor, peals of laughter filling the air as they chased each other around the coffee table, and sleepy cuddles on the couch after a long day of playing. It was the life they had dreamed of, and now it was finally real.
"And this." Matt continued softly, leading Y/N out of the living room and down the hallway to the master bedroom. "Is Mama and Dada's room."
He pushed the white door open, revealing the room they had shared for a year now - after they moved in to their own shared house -, now feeling so much more significant with the addition of their new roles as parents. The bed was neatly made, the pillows fluffed and arranged just the way Y/N liked them, and the soft curtains billowed slightly in the breeze from the open window.
"This is where you’ll come when you need comfort." Matt said, his voice thick with emotion as he looked down at their son, still cradled in his arms. "Where you'll crawl into bed with us on stormy nights, or just because you want to be close. And we'll always be here, waiting to hold you, to keep you safe."
Y/N’s eyes filled with tears as she looked up at Matt, her heart overflowing with love for him, for their children, for the life they were building together.
"They’re so lucky to have you as their dad." She whispered, her voice trembling with emotion. "And I’m so lucky to have you as my partner in this."
Matt’s gaze softened as he looked at her, his eyes filled with the depth of his love.
"I'm the lucky one." He murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her lips. "I get to spend my life with you and our beautiful babies. I don’t think I could ever ask for more."
Leaving the bedroom, Matt led them to the one right by the side, stopping in front of a door that had been carefully painted in soft pastels. He pushed it open gently, revealing the nursery inside. The room was bathed in the warm, golden light of the afternoon sun, and the soft colors of the walls and furniture created a peaceful, serene atmosphere.
"Now, this is your room." Matt said softly, his voice full of pride and love as he stepped inside.
He carefully set the bag that was held by his free arm down on the plush rug in the center of the room, turning to Y/N as she entered behind him.
"We've spent so much time getting it ready for you." Y/N muttered, her eyes shining as she looked around the room.
"That's right. This is where you'll sleep, where you'll have sweet dreams and where we'll sing you lullabies every night. Also, where your mama is going to read all those cute little stories every day."
Y/N carefully placed their daughter in the crib, brushing her fingers over the soft white blankets they had chosen with so much care. She looked around the room, her heart swelling with a deep, almost overwhelming sense of love.
"It’s so beautiful." She whispered, her voice catching in her throat as she looked up at Matt, her eyes lowering to her baby boy still on his arms, his big blue eyes now appearing smaller with the heaviness of sleep that dominated them. "They’re going to be so happy here."
Matt’s hand found hers, their fingers intertwining as they stood together, looking down at their tiny daughter, who was already drifting off to sleep in the crib.
"We all are."
     ༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺
I also wrote it while listening to a really beautiful brazilian song about pregnancy. I'm gonna let it right below so yall can listen to it and see the translation through Spotify! 🩷
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taglist:
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captain-bubble-wrap · 16 days ago
Note
Reader doing her skincare routine with quinny?
└( ゚∀゚)┘💚└(゚∀゚ )┘
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I changed this juuuuuuust slightly! 😘😘
"Hey, do you still want to watch that movie, or no?" Quinn asked, poking his head through your open bathroom door. You had your face over the sink as he talked, so his words were muffled by the sound of running water, but you got most of what he had asked. 
"Um, sure. I just need a few more minutes." Looking at him through the mirror, you hadn't realized how red his forehead was until he raked his fingers through his hair to expose it. "Honey, your skin is really red."
"It's okay," he replied, shrugging. 
Turning to face him, he looked at you confused. You had a look in your eye that meant you weren't about to let this go. 
"Baby, it's fine. It's just a few breakouts. I have them all the time."
"They're from your helmet, I know," you said, reaching up to touch his face. His skin was inflamed and you knew they had to be painful. "Can I help?"
Quinn sighed lightly, mainly because he didn't like to be fussed over, but he didn't want to hurt your feelings either. "You don't have to."
"I know, but I want to."
He knew you wanted to, so he folded without putting up a fight. "Okay, baby. Do whatever you want to."
You smiled warmly at his words, before giving him a soft kiss as a thank you. "Let me get you something to keep your hair out of your face first." 
From one of your drawers, you'd grab a thick, padded headband, made for just such things. Placing it behind his ears, you'd push it up and past his forehead to completely brush all the hair out of his eyes. He looked cute, even though you could tell he was absolutely embarrassed. 
"That's a look," he replied sheepishly, dropping his eyes from his reflection immediately. 
"You're cute, hush," you said, following a second kiss. "It's just us here."
Your words gave him enough reassurance to smile finally. Quinn stepped closer to the sink, seeing all of the various glass jars and bottles that littered your large counter. "Do you use all of these?"
"When I need to, yeah, but not all at once or anything. I won't use too many on you, though, so don't worry. I don't want to aggravate your skin anymore than it already is."
"What /are/ you going to do?" He asked, picking up one of the serum vials to press its button topper. 
"Going to start with a mask to draw what I can out of those blemishes, first."
"A mask?"
From a cabinet, you'd grab a clay mask jar and a silicone spatula to apply it with and had Quinn sit on the edge of your tub. 
"I'm going to warn you, as this dries, it's going to tighten, so you'll feel a slight pulling feeling, okay?"
He nodded, looking up at you slightly concerned, putting his hands on your hips as you stood between his legs. The product was cold to his skin, making him balk slightly at the sensation but not enough to pull away from you. 
"It's cold, I know. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," he said, closing his eyes, his hands falling down to your bare thighs. You were wearing one of his Canucks t-shirts that was even too big for him, which was why you loved it to sleep in. 
"I'm just going to do your whole face."
Quinn smiled, "You don't need to waste all your products on me."
"I think we can confirm that I have enough," you giggled, painting the clay around his facial hair. "Almost done. It doesn't take much of this stuff."
"How long does it stay on?"
"Till it's completely dry, so probably fifteen-twenty minutes, give-or-take."
"Okay."
Quinn would stay seated on the tub edge while he watched you finish up your nightly routine. He was amazed with all of the steps you did, knowing he could never do the same. Every so often, you'd look over at  him, just sitting there, hands between his knees. He looked miserable.
"Are you okay, honey?" You asked, after noticing his expression change. 
"Yeah."
"You don't have to stay here with me if you don't want to, Quinn. You'd probably be more comfortable on the sofa or something."
He shook his head, "I'll stay with you, or am I hovering you?"
Sadness flooded your expression as you stepped towards him. "No, baby! You're not hovering! I just wanted to make sure you were okay!" You wanted to kiss him, but that wouldn't be the easiest at the moment. You'd settle for a soft smile which you made sure he saw. 
Quinn tried to smile as well, but the tightness of the drying clay made him stop his attempt, so he just kind of looked at you like a sad puppy. 
"It's almost dry, baby. Just a couple patches on your cheekbone. I must have gotten it a little thick there."
While the mask finished, you ran the water to get it a comfortable temperature beforehand. He was looking at the floor as you drenched the washcloth in the warm water and made your back to him. "Chin up, baby. Let me get this off of you."
Again, his hands would find your body, like you were his security blanket this time. In reality, he just wanted an excuse to touch you, which you never minded. Slowly, you'd make small swipes of the now pale-green product, revealing refreshed skin beneath. You would have to make several passes back and forth to the sink to rinse the cloth, and each time you did, he'd resume his holding of you. 
"I could have just stood by the sink, babe," Quinn said, feeling bad about making you make so many trips.
"It's no problem, but thank you." With everything but the problem spot to wash away, you'd bend down to give him that kiss he seemed so desperate to have. "I'm going to be real gentle now. Let me know if you need me to stop or anything."
"Okay, thank you."
First, you would just press the cloth to his skin, letting the product rehydrate slightly, to avoid having to aggressively scrub the area. Thankfully, it came off much easier after doing so. The redness was still apparent, but the size of the blemishes did look slightly reduced. 
"Look at that handsome man," you said, satisfied with the outcome. 
"Yeah, right," Quinn replied. "Am I done?"
"Not quite, baby. I have something else for you. That just helped dry up those spots. I need to actually treat them now." 
"Oh." 
It took you a moment, but eventually you found the sheet mask you had in mind.
"What is that?" He asked, seeing you pull the white blob out of the packaging. 
"It's a sheet mask," you laughed, unfolding it to reveal the shape of the face it was meant to cover. 
"That's weird."
"Yeah, they kind of are. Now, this one is going to be really cold compared to the last one."
"Alright. Oh, it's slimy," he said, as you aligned it with his face, making sure it wasn't in his eyes. 
"They're wonderful things, though. This one won't have to be washed off. And it's made for acne and stuff, so it's perfect for your problem. I have the same stuff that's in this mask in a pump. Why don't you take it and use it after your games? Then your forehead won't be so aggravated and painful. And before you decline my offer, I have a couple of them," you finished with a wink, knowing he was apt to bring it up. 
"Are you sure?"
"Absolutely. I promise it will help."
Quinn smiled, giving you a squeeze as you still stood over him. "Well, now what?"
"We can start that movie if you want. Those masks you can sleep in, so there's no real time limit." 
"Sure." He rose to his feet, giving your cheek a soft touch with the back of his fingers. "I appreciate you wanting to help me. I'm clueless about all of this stuff."
"No problem, honey. It was fun," you smiled. "You should feel a lot of relief in the morning." 
"I hope looking like this is worth it," he shook his head, seeing what he looked like before leaving the bathroom with you. 
430 notes · View notes
amomentsescape · 7 months ago
Note
Slashers x reader with wings. Reader's wings are bound, hidden and look heavily damaged from that.
How do the slashers find out? How do they react?
Add the crow guy, Eric, I think?
Slashers with Winged! Reader
Slashers x Reader (Separate)
Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, Bo, & Eric
A/N: I am once again sleep deprived, so I apologize if there are any typos or nonsense that I didn't catch reading through this. Thank you for your request!
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Freddy Krueger
As mentioned in many previous posts, you can't really hide anything from Freddy
Whenever you sleep, you're in his territory, and he can do whatever he pleases
And one of the last things he'll ever let you do is hide yourself from him
He could see the damage from all the years of hiding your wings, binding them up in hopes no one would notice
And this honestly pisses him off a bit
Why would you ever want to be like everyone else?
Your wings were beautiful, and they made you that much more special
The moment he sees your wings free, you better believe he'll never let you hide them again
Anyone who even gives you the slightest look will be dealt with that same night
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Michael Myers
Another one that you can't really hide anything from
He may let you think that he doesn't know about your wings
But in reality, he's known about them this whole time
However, he won't push you to reveal yourself to him until you're ready
It's not like it's a huge deal to him anyways
He's neutral about the whole situation
Wings or no wings, nothing will sway his opinion on you
Just don't wait too long to talk to him about it though
The more time that passes, the more irritated he'll become
Because after this much time together, you have to fully trust him now
Right?
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Jason Voorhees
Jason is pretty much clueless from the start
It's not that he isn't observant to you (he watches you 24/7)
It's just that he fully respects your boundaries and won't even hold your hand unless you tell him he can
So when he accidentally walked in on you one day and saw your damaged wings, he just stands there in shock
He snaps out of it when he notices your bashful and worried face however
He's just so confused on why you would hide this from him
He thinks your wings suit you perfectly
In fact, it makes him feel even more assured that you two are meant for each other
He also grew up wanting to hide a part of himself
But having each other means fully embracing the insecurities of the other
He doesn't ever want you to hide your wings from him again
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Thomas Hewitt
He honestly would have never even knew about them if it wasn't for his need for late night affection
He just wanted to cuddle up next to you in the middle of the night
But he was met with something out of place on your back
He couldn't help but peek, and the moment he did, he was stunned
But did he even think about running?
No. He just decided to wait until morning to talk to you about it
When he asked you, he could tell you were uncomfortable
And because of this, he did everything he could to reassure you that he wasn't upset or grossed out by your wings
He loves them!
He took them in his hands gently and carefully removed the bindings
There will be no more hiding from him after that
And he'll happily caress your wings every night until you feel reassured
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Bubba Sawyer
Bubba didn't mean to walk in on you like this
But the moment he sees the wings, all decency goes out the door
He stumbles in further, his hands reaching out to them
They're breathtaking... but why are they so damaged?
It physically hurts him to see you in any type of pain, and yet you've been carrying this around with you this whole time?
He's a bit hurt you didn't feel comfortable talking to him about this, but he's even more hurt by the fact that they look painful to you
He doesn't even let you protest before he's breaking the ties and freeing the wings
He's blubbering to you, making you promise to never hurt yourself like this, especially when it's something so cool
He spends the next few days playing with your wings, admiring them like a kid with a new toy
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Brahms Heelshire
The day he finds out about your wings is one of betrayal
Brahms refuses to let you keep secrets from him, and hiding such a big thing from him upsets him greatly
How can he trust you?
You’ll need to give him some time to cool down, but once he does, he’ll be on you
Will force you to free your wings so he can play with them
It honestly hurts him a bit to see the destruction brought to them
He empathizes with you a bit
He has also spent a good portion of his life hiding a part of himself
But it’s because of this experience that he refuses to let you do the same any longer
You’re with him now anyways
He’ll never let you leave the house
So there will never be another soul to judge this part of you ever again
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Norman Bates
He’s kind of speculated for a bit that you were hiding something
He didn’t know exactly what, he just could feel it in his gut
This insecurity was beginning to eat away at him until the day he finally saw the truth
It would be a lie to say that he wasn’t a bit scared at first
Angels have wings, but so did the devil
But seeing your pained expression reassured Norman that you were far from something evil
Once he let everything soak in, he’ll be all over you asking questions
He wants to know everything about you and your wings
He doesn’t want you to hide them anymore, and he’ll take the time each night to clean them and help heal them from years of damage
These are a part of you, and he loves everything about you
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Billy Loomis
Billy doesn't really speculate anything
He's confident that he would be able to tell if you were keeping anything from him
Until the night he sneaks in through your window in hopes of surprising you
But instead, he's the one with the surprise
He sees you looking sadly at yourself through the bathroom mirror, your damaged wings on full display
He spends the next few days going radio silent towards you
But on the fourth day, he storms your room and interrogates you on your wings
Why the hell would you lie to him?
He doesn't care that you have something that makes you "different"
He's simply hurt that you kept it from him
However, it only takes an open conversation for him to calm down
He's still a little pissy but happy to know the truth
Just don't keep anything from him again
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Stu Macher
This boy is absolutely clueless
But his unconditional, completely suffocating affection is what finally makes you feel comfortable to open up to him
And when you do, his eyes widen and his jaw drops
You almost think he's going to be upset until he speaks
"That's fucking sick"
Has you unbind them immediately with the promise that you won't keep them hidden away like that anymore
He constantly reassures you that anyone who sees them will have the same reaction as him
There are thousands of people that would kill to have wings like yours
Stu included
So don't ever hide something that literally makes you so unique
He loves them
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Vincent Sinclair
You honestly told him about your wings right away
It was after a deep conversation about his own insecurities over his appearance and scars
He showed you his face, and you showed him your wings
It was a raw moment of vulnerability between you two, and all it did was strengthen your bond
After that night, you rarely saw him wear that mask, and he refused to let you tied up your wings like that again
He wants to love the real you
And any part you hide from him is a part of you that he can't love freely
He thinks your wings are beautiful, and you become even more of a inspiration for his art
You are quite literally an angel in his eyes, and he won't ever take advantage of that
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Bo Sinclair
He was being flirty and touchy, as Bo does
And the moment he felt your back, he was throwing questions at you left and right
There was no lying or hiding the truth from him any longer
Bo hates secrets
So when you fully reveal yourself to him, he's shocked
He doesn't really know what to say at first
He didn't think something like this was possible
But after finally accepting the reality of the situation, he angrily begins tearing off your bindings
How dare you hurt yourself like this? How could you willingly lie to him after all this time?
He's a good mixture of disbelieving and pissed at you
It'll take a couple days to fully understand the situation
But once he does, it's smooth sailing
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Eric Draven
Eric is all-knowing
And he knows that you're keeping something from him
But unlike a lot of the others, he's not upset or angry about it
You'll tell him when you're ready, and he trusts you enough to know it isn't anything terrible
And once you do open up about it, he's in absolute awe
His companion is a crow for goodness sake
To think he was ever going to react in any way other than admiration would have been stupid
He does get a bit emotional seeing your wings all tied up and damaged however
He's gentle with you as he sets them free
To see that pain you put yourself through really upsets him
He doesn't ever want you to do something like that again, especially when he sees this as a true gift
He'll spend the rest of the night cleaning and taking care of them, lulling you to sleep
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redflowersociety · 3 months ago
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Saying “I Love You” for the first time. - Mouthwashing HC
These are written with the pretense that… THEY LIKE U BACK!! (Except for Swansea cause he’s married…sorri) THIS WAS SO PAINFUL CAUSE I WAS WRITING THEM IN PARAGRAPHS AND THEN… boom. 1000+ words lost. Never writing on tumblr again, rookie mistake. Anyways, enjoy!! Promise next post will be higher effort
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Curly (Pre-Crash)
He’s quick to make a teasing comment on your unprofessionalism, confessing to your captain and all. But he’s honestly super flustered and trying not to grin like a kid on Christmas Day.
He takes a moment to sit with it. It’s likely that you two would have made advances toward each other for a while, as Curly is the type to take things slow if he’s serious. After a year of pining, you two were finally dating! But hearing those words from your lips brought him to such happiness because he knew you meant it unconditionally, without expecting anything from him.
After this instance, it became common practice for both of you to remind the other of your love. Curly had never been a “words-of-affirmation” kind of guy, but this was an exception. “I love you” turned into his favorite phrase, as it was the perfect way to release the tension building in his heart from just how badly he had fallen for you.
Curly (Post-Crash)
He honestly couldn’t believe that you could stomach looking at him, let alone still sit with romantic feelings for him. It brought him to tears when he heard it, unable to comprehend how somebody could show him such boundless affection and care. He wasn’t used to unconditional love.
He forced himself through the immense pain to slur the words back, and that’s when you began to cry. He forced it out again and again, until you convinced him through pleading not to speak. You knew how much it hurt him, so you assured him that knowing was enough. You didn’t need the reassurance.
Upon your return to Earth, Curly not only had surgeries to make his face a little more structurally sound, but he had attended speech therapy to make up for the years he spent in near silence. One of the first things he learned was your name, and then “I love you.” It brought you to tears hearing it again for the first time in so long. It was okay though, as he could hold you in his scarred arms as long as you needed to cry it all out.
Daisuke
At first, he thought you were being silly. “Aww, I love you too,” he giggled. It wasn’t until you spoke up again with a more serious tone that he realized, and you swear you’d never seen a man turn red so fast. He was so taken aback, asking you at least five times if you were serious and if you were sure. Once his nerves were satisfied, he returned the gesture.
“I love you too. Like a lot, a lot. Soooo much. Like, I really thought I was tweaking out or something from like, the way my whole body would go numb around you and my brain would get fuzzy-“ his drawn out explanation on how his romantic feelings for you overwhelmed him made you laugh. Within the next day, you two were dating.
Even before you two got together, Daisuke ranted to anybody who would listen about just how perfect you were. Now? Oh, man. Swansea has been really considering throwing him out into space after hearing about your confession for the twentieth time from his loud-ass mouth.
Anya
It was honestly a relief to her that you had said something first. She had been trying her best to stay professional, but seeing you all the time, your smile and laugh, the way you spoke passionately about what you loved; it made it harder every day as she fell further for you. You were one of the first people she grew close to on the Tulpar, and the first she went to when Jimmy… did what he did. The trust between you both was ample and strong.
She was quick to say it back, like it was a breath of air she’d been holding in way too long and needed out. You two laughed from the sheer relief on her face, teasing her thoroughly about it. She didn’t hesitate to grill you right back for being the one who confessed first. It shut you up pretty fast. You both agreed within the hour to start dating!
There were mixed reactions among the crew. Some extremely supportive, and then some straight up bitter and resentful (Jimbo). Jimmy began to treat you especially cruelly, and you refused to stand by and let it happen. Curly also helped to defend you when he could, seemingly coming to his senses about Jimmy’s behavior. You could tell that Anya felt intense guilt for your pain, but you assured her that it wasn’t her fault. It was your decision to date her knowing everything you did. You were happy by her side. She certainly cried over that privately, completely enamored.
Swansea
Swansea is married, so he knew to take your words in a familial sense. He didn’t return it, saying something like, “You’d better kid. With all I do for you.” But when you him on his lonesome in the utility room? Yeah, he smiled about it.
f you had a bad childhood due to your parents, Swansea could tell pretty quick. He never considered it his problem, but even still, he took you under his wing with Daisuke. He wanted to give you guidance in the ways he knew how. You deserved that, at least. He would go out of his way to help you when you needed, mostly with solving practical problems. He had never been the most emotionally aware, but he tried with you. He figured even if he couldn’t assist you much, it’d be good practice for his daughter on the way.
That’s not to say he never had any advice. He struggled to comfort, but he was quick to pick up on your mistakes and told you the blatant truth. You appreciated that, even if he was harsh at times, cause it helped you become a better person.
Jimmy
Your confession was certainly an ego boost, but nothing past that. He couldn’t believe that you could say something like “I love you” to someone like him without there being pity behind it. Even still, he returned the gesture because he knew that getting with you would make you so much easier to use. He took the opportunity.
The entire crew, aside from you two, were completely flabbergasted when they found out you two were together. Swansea was quick to ask “Why,” hoping to understand the reason behind such a horrible decision on your part. He didn’t get a good answer from you. Anya felt such pity for you, sure that a good person like you had been manipulated into that position. Even still, she couldn’t help you without putting herself in danger, so she kept her distance.
After the crash, Jimmy took out all his frustrations on you in private through abuse: sexual, physical, verbal, and however else he felt in the moment. Nobody was confused when you started wearing more covering clothes beneath your uniform. Swansea was the only one to really step up against Jimmy when he found that he was hurting you. You had to beg Swansea not to kill Jimmy for that alone, and even still, jimmy got a beating. Daisuke checked on you as much as possible, worrying constantly for your well being. Curly found your relationship to be one more thing to feel guilt over, as he once again couldn’t do a single thing to protect somebody from him.
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writtenbymoonflower · 1 year ago
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hi!!! could i pls request some casual dominance polymarauders 🙈
Thanks for requesting, hope this is okay! gn!reader x poly!marauders, kinda modern!au
cw: kinda d/s dynamics, boys order reader around a bit. if it's not your cup of tea feel free to skip!
810 words
You were attacked with affection the minute you had stepped foot in the house, but you weren’t complaining. It was like James had appeared from thin air to help you shuck your coat off and hang it up for you. 
“Christ, babe. It didn’t know how freezing it was out there. You’ve got like, bits of ice on you.” He fussed, scrutinizing your shaking body and wind-pinched face. 
“It wasn’t that bad, the walk was pretty.” You thought that would be reassuring, but James just looked more aghast. 
“You walked the whole way here?”
“I mean, yeah. I didn’t have money for the bus.” You admitted shamefully. It seemed like Sirius had appeared in the room to give you a (loving) talking to as well. 
“Then in that case, you call one of us, yeah?” He grabbed your face gently, turning you away from James to look at him. He had his whole intimidation thing going on that made you want to melt into the floor. “You don’t get to put yourself in danger walking in this.” He gave your chin an affectionate squeeze before dropping his hand from your face, you let your gaze fall to the floor.
“I will,” You muttered, barely intelligible. This time it was James who tilted your face up. 
“Speak up baby, and look Pads in the eye when you talk to him.” He was gentle but still assertive. You quickly corrected. 
“I will call you next time.” Still mousy, but at a discernible volume, and now you could see when Sirius’ usual grin overtook his concerned features. He pulled you into him, giving you a tight squeeze. 
“You’re okay, babydoll. You’re not in trouble.” He kissed your neck, making it hard for you to breathe. 
“Who’s not in trouble?” You heard Remus’ even tone from the kitchen. You tugged the two men next to you over to where Remus was. He was sitting at the counter, doing some work on his laptop.
“Well it seems like Y/N was determined to give us the fright of our life this afternoon.” James joked (rather dramatically in your opinion), but it’s all good now. 
“They will be requiring some hot chocolate, though.” Sirius pinched at your nose, making an awful cooing sound. “Baby, your face is still all cold.” 
Remus stood up to rummage through the box of hot drink mixes. “Pads love, could you run upstairs and grab the sweater off the end of the bed?” his voice turned more serious as he looked at you. “It doesn’t surprise me that you’re still cold, that shirt likely isn’t doing much to keep you warm.” 
“Actually,” You spoke up, ignoring his comment. “Could I have some coffee instead?” James scoffed and Remus rolled his eyes. 
“It’s half past five, baby dove. You’ll be up all night if you have caffeine right now.” Remus clearly wasn’t in the mood to be argued with, but you pressed in.
“I’ll be fine! Besides, my head hurts and I need to get some work done.” 
“Yeah, well, get that idea out of your head.” James shook your shoulders affectionately. “You’ve been burning the candle at both ends lately, you need a rest.” 
“Who needs a rest?” Sirius trotted over to you, manhandling you to get Remus’ sweater over your head. 
“Y/N,” James tattled. “They think they’re getting coffee at this hour.” He laughed like you were being obviously ridiculous. “They also have a headache and didn’t tell us.” You must’ve looked absolutely appalled and quickly floundered to control the damages. 
“I didn’t think it was important! It’s not bad anyway.” 
“Well, let’s try to keep it from getting bad.” Remus handed you a steaming cup of hot cocoa, along with a packet of biscuits. “Here, eat these so you can take some pain pills.” He glanced over to James, making the bespectacled boy rummage through the medicine box while Sirius set on getting a glass of water for you. 
“I don’t need any medicine, it will go away on its own.” You pleaded, covering your mouth full of biscoff and feeling flustered from all the attention. Sirius clearly disagreed, because the comment earned you a hard pinch on your bum. 
“Do what Moons said” He punctuated the order with a kiss to your forehead, letting you know he wasn’t really upset with you. Sirius may play stern, but he was really just silly and enjoyed ordering you around a bit, knowing that it made you heated and blushy. 
You set down your hot drink and half-eaten snack to take the pills and water, swallowing your pills and finishing the whole glass before you handed it back. 
“There you go,” James cooed, pulling you into his side. “That’s a good girl” 
You groaned, earning a dark chuckle from Remus.
"Poor baby," He teased, clearly not feeling very sorry for you.
It was going to be a trying night.
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fyodor-s-rat · 2 years ago
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BUNGOU STRAY DOGS - you telling them "please, be gentle" before your first time
ft.: dazai, chuuya, kunikida, ranpo, akutagawa, fyodor, edgar
tw: nsfw!!
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"Please, be gentle..."
Dazai
oh boy, he's enjoying himself too much
he's very cocky about the whole thing, he's teasing you because he loves how easily frustrated you are
but at the same time, he's honored that you chose him for this special occasion
how could he resist to you? you were so beautiful
when you let out these words, he stopped teasing and actually showed some affection
"Don't worry, belladona, everything will be okay. We can stop whenever you want."
Chuuya
like Dazai, he's also proud that you trust him enough to be your first
i feel like he would make everything kinda romantic, candles, roses, red wine, etc.
even though he has a short temper, he would be patient with you
he would take time to prepare you, he definitely thinks that foreplay is very important before sex, especially when it's your first one
so prepare for long making out and cumming on his fingers first
after a while, when you said those words, he just gave you a smirk
"I will be as gentle as you want, sweetheart."
Kunikida
first time with Kunikida would be the best
this man knows exactly what to do
he tries to make everything perfect. every little detail. including the time, the place, the atmosphere,...
he would keep asking if you really want to do this and if you're comfortable
but you were secretly nervous
when those words left your mouth, he gave you a reassuring smile.
"Y/n, you have nothing to worry about with me. I'll be extremely gentle, I promise."
Ranpo
when you told him that you want to have your first time with him, Ranpo felt even more confident than usual
even though he doesn't have much experience, he would be a great lover
when he heard you say those words, he just replied with a cocky smile:
"Sweetheart, you have nothing to worry about. You couldn't have chosen anyone better than me, the greatest detective."
you just frowned.
his thrusts are slow and sensual
he's keeping you close to his body, stroking your cheek
constantly making sure you're okay
Akutagawa
you're also his first, so you would be both nervous
he doesn't admit it tho
however, you can easily see through him
you see how frustrated he is, how his cheeks burn, how he's already sweaty
you would be the one reassuring him that it will be okay, i think
but when you said those words, Akutagawa realised how much you depend on him
he wouldn't really know what to say
"I... won't be harsh, I promise. If it... hurts or something, tell me."
boy would be extremely gentle, constantly worrying about hurting you and not living up to your expectations
Fyodor
why would you choose him to lose your virginity to?
i have absolutely no idea how experienced Fyodor is, but he would act confident no matter what
he would enjoy this little moment with you so much
he would love how you entrust your body to him
how he has complete power over you
he obviously knows how nervous you are, but he doesn't even try to reassure you
hovewer, when you whispered those words, he actually showed some kind of affection.
"Darling, I don't want to harm you in any way, I still have plans for you."
even though you didn't really understand what he meant, he somehow managed to slowly and gently thrust into you, trying to cause you as little pain as possible
Edgar
he would be probably more nervous than you before your first time
he would be constantly worrying and asking you if you really want it
it might be annoying, but honestly it's lovely how caring he is
"My sweet Y/n, of course that I will be gentle. I will be extremely careful, if you get uncomfortable, tell me. Promise?"
he, indeed, was extremely gentle with you.
-
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clockwayswrites · 1 year ago
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Ficleting Together Start:
cw: internalized abelism as issues with therapy and mental help, injury
Jason had an imaginary friend. He hadn't always. He wasn't like most children who had one when they were just learning to understand the world around them. He hadn't even had one on the streets when he was so desperately lonely for anyone to offer him kindness. No, Jason hadn't had one until he had become Robin— until he had become magic.
He didn't actually think his friend was so imaginary.
Bruce and Dick did, though. It was actually the first conversation that they had that didn’t end in shouting in months. Jason had listened to the whole thing through a vent on the other side of Bruce’s study. There were concerns of him regressing. Apparently it was something that could happen to traumatized— and fuck he hated that word, traumatized— children when they finally got somewhere safe.
Dick thought Jason would benefit from therapy. Worse, Bruce agreed. It turned out that went Jason took part in the shouting match it could be so much worse.
“I’m not crazy! I don’t need to see a fucking therapist!” Jason screamed.
He wasn’t helping his case, he knew that. But he wasn’t crazy! They couldn’t lock him up. He wasn’t crazy. It already felt like he was locked up. The study felt suddenly small. The lights too bright. The furniture too big. Bruce and Dick were too big.
“Jay-lad, that’s not what we’re saying,” Bruce tried.
“I’m not talking any pills!”
“No one is talking pills, Jay,” Dick said. He stepped forward, reaching a hand out.
It would be comforting. Jason knew that. Dick’s touch was always comforting.
He gave great hugs.
He wasn’t like—
Jason ran.
Jason bolted out of the room and past Alfred and out the door and into the woods that surrounded Wayne Manor. He ran past trees and shrubs and rocks that all looked the same. He ran until his legs were burning and he couldn’t catch his breath and—
The dirt, damp from the fall rainstorms gave under Jason’s feet. For a moment he was standing on nothing. It felt just like when Bruce had said that he had arranged a therapist for Jason. It felt like his world had fallen out from under him. And then Jason was falling, tumbling down the rock face that up the small hillside that Jason had been running along.
He screamed as something in his leg snapped, the noise was cut short as his head bounced against the rock and snapped his jaw closed. Even when he stopped rolling, the world swam around him. Jason closed his eyes and tried to stop himself from hurling. It was close. Jason lost time counting his breaths through the pain.
And then they were there.
Jason knew it, he always knew it.
It’s why he didn’t think they were imaginary.
He couldn’t help the sob that ripped from his throat as he felt their presence settle against his side. “I’m not crazy. You’re real. I know you are.”
Jason didn’t hear their response. It wasn’t like they spoke. But Jason could feel their response: a rumble of reassurance, a bubble of wry humor that Jason didn’t understand, and an undercurrent of worry.
“I’ll be okay,” Jason said. It had started to get dark. When had it started to get dark? “I’ll be okay.”
A cold sensation pressed against his brow.
He could close his eyes for a little longer.
He’d be okay.
“Jason! Oh god, Jason. Bruce! It’s over here! Please be alive.”
Jason whined as hand touched his neck.
Murmured Romani filled Jason’s ears as his world went black.
---
The voted prompts were Danny/Jason, soulmates/bond, Eldritch. This isn't going where I thought it would, but that's the fun of it! I might just tack all the parts onto this thread an not do an update thread since this shouldn't be too long (famous last words) but we'll see. I have at least two scenes that I know I want to do.
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pixii33 · 6 months ago
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𓈒ㅤׂㅤ 𓇼 ࣪ 𝐂𝐑𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐎𝐘 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒⠀
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꒰͡ ⠀ ִ 𝐵𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝐴𝑒𝑔𝑜𝑛 𝑥 𝑊𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 ⠀ׂ ⠀ ͡꒱
♡ㅤ𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘤𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝅄ㅤೀ
˚꒰♡꒱‧ Hi there! Before you read this, you should know that English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!
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The corridors were unusually quiet, with only the distant hum of conversation echoing through the stone walls. You had been wandering, lost in thought, when a sharp, unexpected sound reached your ears. A loud, ringing slap followed by a pained cry made your heart leap in your chest. You hurried towards the source, dread pooling in your stomach. As you reached the end of the corridor, your worst fears were realized. Aegon sat on the floor, his tiny body trembling as he let out soft, hiccuping sobs. His silver curls were a tousled mess, sticking to his tear-soaked cheeks, which were flushed a rosy pink from crying. His big, round eyes, were filled with tears that clung to his long lashes before spilling down his face. His little mouth was turned down in a quivering pout, making his whole face scrunch up in a way that was heartbreaking. As soon as he saw you, Aegon let out a desperate little whimper and reached up with his chubby arms, his fingers wiggling for you to pick him up. "P’etty!" he cried out, his voice tiny and filled with the raw, innocent emotion of a toddler who just wanted comfort. "P’etty, up! Up, p’ease!" His words were mixed with hiccups, making his plea sound even more pitiful.
You didn’t hesitate for a second. Scooping him up into your arms, you felt his little body immediately press against yours, his tiny hands clutching onto your gown as though he never wanted to let go. "Oh, my sweet Aegon," you murmured, cradling him close and rubbing soothing circles on his back. "I’m here, darling. I’m here." He looked up at you, his tear-filled eyes filled with a mix of confusion and pain. "M-Mummy... Mummy hit Aegon," he whimpered, his voice trembling as he struggled to make sense of the situation. Aegon snuggled his tear-streaked face into the crook of your neck, his warm breath coming in uneven puffs against your skin as he tried to calm down. "M-Mummy mad..." he whimpered, his voice muffled and shaky. "Aegon not bad... Aegon sowwy, P’etty… sowwy..." His words were so soft and slurred that you had to strain to hear them, each one pulling at your heartstrings. Your heart ached as you gently rocked him back and forth, pressing kisses into his soft, silver curls. "Shh, it’s okay, Aegon. You’re not bad, my love. You’re the best little boy in the whole world," you whispered, your voice full of warmth and reassurance. "I'm here now. No more tears, okay?" Aegon nodded against you, though his little body continued to tremble. His tiny hands, warm and soft, clung to you with surprising strength for someone so small. "P’etty stay with Aegon?" he asked, his voice breaking with a mixture of hope and fear. "No go? P’etty stay?" “I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart,” you promised, squeezing him gently as you rocked him. “I’ll stay right here with you.” Aegon sniffled, his little nose wrinkling as he tried to stop crying. "P’etty love Aegon?" he asked in the sweetest, most tentative voice, as though he needed to hear it just one more time to believe it was true. "More than anything in the whole world," you whispered, feeling your heart swell with emotion. "I love you so much, Aegon. Always." Aegon’s cries slowly began to subside as he snuggled against you, finding comfort in your presence. “P’etty good,” he said softly, his little voice filled with a hopeful trust. “Aegon love P’etty.” Your heart melted at his words. You hugged him tighter, feeling the warmth and love of his tiny frame against you. “I love you too, Aegon,” you said, your voice thick with emotion. “More than anything.” As you gently rocked Aegon in your arms, his little body trembled with the remnants of his sobs. His tear-streaked face was tucked against your shoulder, but you could feel him trying to calm down, clinging to you with his chubby hands. You kissed the top of his head, your heart breaking for the little boy who seemed so lost and sad. "Aegon, sweetheart, can you tell me what happened?" you asked softly, your voice full of concern and love. Aegon sniffled, his big, tear-filled eyes looking up at you, full of confusion and hurt. "M-Mummy… Mummy mad," he whispered, his small voice trembling as he tried to explain. "Aegon want to play… with Mummy… she no no no…" he said as he shake his head left and right.
You nodded gently, encouraging him to continue. "And what happened then, darling?" you asked, brushing a tear from his rosy cheek. Aegon’s lower lip wobbled, and fresh tears welled up in his eyes. "Aegon ask again… and Mummy hit Aegon," he said, his voice breaking as he recalled the moment. His little hands clutched your gown tightly, seeking comfort. "Aegon not bad… Aegon just want to play…" Your heart ached as you held him closer, rubbing soothing circles on his back. "Oh, Aegon, you’re not bad, darling," you whispered, your voice thick with emotion. "You just wanted to play, and that’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong."
Aegon sniffled again, his face scrunching up as he tried to hold back more tears. "M-Mummy said… she said Aegon bad…" he stammered, his voice shaking. "She… she hate Aegon…" The words cut through you like a knife, but you kept your focus on comforting the little boy in your arms. "She said that?" you asked gently, trying to keep your voice steady. "Oh, Aegon, my sweet boy…" Aegon nodded, his small body shaking with fresh sobs. "Aegon don't want Mummy mad… Aegon want her to love him… play with him…" he whimpered, burying his face in your shoulder as he cried. "Aegon want Mummy happy…" Tears stung your eyes as you held him tighter, kissing his silver curls. "Aegon, you are so, so loved," you whispered, your voice full of warmth and reassurance. "You are a wonderful, sweet boy, and it’s not your fault. Sometimes people say things they don’t mean, but that doesn’t make them true. You are not bad, and you are loved more than you can ever know." You held him close, feeling his small body relax in your arms as his tears finally dried. As you began to hum a soft lullaby, Aegon’s eyes grew heavy, and soon he was fast asleep, his little face peaceful and serene against your shoulder. Even in sleep, his tiny hand remained wrapped around your gown, as if to make sure you were still there.
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𝐓𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 – @naslt @bogbutteronmycroissant @radiantdanvers @dracaryxzs @writtenbyhollywood @danytar
@ 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.
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xxgoldie · 1 month ago
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Hyewwo, if you don't mind.. 👉👈
I, U, and X for Lighter? 🥺 Thank you so much for what you do!
main event page - event masterlist
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I: Injury - how do they act when you get hurt? No matter the severity of the injury, Lighter worries about you. Something bad happenning to you is like his worst nightmare, so his eyes instinctively fly to you in a panic every time you make any sound of pain, even if it's just a papercut or stubbed toe. If you get seriously injured, though, he's an absolute wreck. He wants so badly to protect you and make sure you're okay, but seeing you in so much pain and covered in your own blood has him losing it, the closest he's getting to helping is half-begging half-threatening anyone with medical training to Do Something. He hates hospitals, but he won't leave your side until you're okay, even if you end up in one. Won't even let himself sleep until your condition is stable. And as your recovering and sent home, you'll have a 24/7 assistant and guard until you're back to tiptop shape, that brief taste of losing you has him extra protective, even permanently.
U: Upset - how would they comfort you if you're upset? Lighter is a practical man - he's great if you're frustrated about something and need to vent since he'll analyse all the details with you, picking apart the situation and helping you to decide the next course of action. But that's not the most helpful response when the feelings are more fresh, and he understands that. He doesn't really know what to do with himself if you cry in front of him - he hates to see you so upset and he rarely knows what to say to make you feel better. Instead, he'll opt to just hold you, pressing soft kisses into your hair and mutter soft reassurances, little "I'm here"s and "you're okay"s. As you start recovering, his mission becomes to make you laugh, whether it takes a corny joke or a tickle attack with kisses pressed all over your face, distracting you until you're ready to talk through whatever upset you.
X: X-Ray - how easily can they read their partner? how easy are they to read? Lighter is really perceptive - he's really good at reading people in general, so he sees through you so easily with how much time you spend together. He can always tell if there's something bothering you, or if you're particularly attracted to something he does. The first he uses for good, coaxing you to talk about it or getting you a treat to cheer you up before you even tell him something's wrong. He'll find solutions you didn't know existed to problems you barely have, and all you have to do is make one slightly frustrated sigh. The latter he uses for pure evil, he's an absolute menace, showing off the things he knows you like. No matter how cool you try to play it, he can Tell he's affecting you, its lowkey infuriating how proud of himself he looks. When it comes to reading him, its a bit tougher. He's pretty good at hiding and repressing his thoughts when he wants to, not letting them show on his face. Besides, his sunglasses make it a bit harder to read his expressions. But with you, he doesn't hide his thoughts that often, especially in private, and you can pretty easily tell exactly what he's feeling just from his face. Between that and how easily he reads you, you can probably have whole conversations with him just using facial expressions
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itoshiexx · 1 year ago
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wonder
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synopsis: sae wondered what it was like to be loved by you.
pairing: itoshi sae x gn!reader | words: 800 | warnings: established relationship, tooth rotting fluff, sae is stupidly in love with u
notes: why hello! i'm barely alive! i know i kinda disappeared but i was struggling with personal issues and my mental health, so i didn't really have creativity to write. i'm not sure i like this either, but i couldn't let sae bae's bday go by without posting anything. also this is slightly inspired by the song "wonder - shawn mendes". thank you for your love and patience! <3
masterlist
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there are certain things itoshi sae would never admit. like the way he loved calm walks at the beach or how seagulls were his favorite animal. how he secretly regret hurting his little brother’s feelings when he was a stupid teenager. how his life was way lonelier than the world could even imagine, making him hate the walls of his oh so empty apartment.
mostly, he would never admit he wondered what it was like to be loved — not just by anyone, though, but to be loved by you.
he’s not sure when it started. he can’t pinpoint the exact moment his heart began beating faster and his black and white world was filled with color, but he does know that, inevitably, it all comes back to you, like you’re some sort of big bang that created his whole existence. itoshi sae doesn’t think he was actually himself before he became yours.
if you ask him, he’d say it’s a bit pathetic, really. he was never a guy that cared about romance, and he definitely didn’t believe in the concept of a love that could sweep you off your feet, like the hollywood movies desperately tried to sell. perhaps one of the reasons he liked you so much was because you managed to prove him wrong, and not many people were able to do that. 
sae was usually right. but you, in his life — that was even more right than his stupid beliefs. 
“sae, i need to get up,” your voice breaks him from his stupor, and, instinctively, his hold on your waist tightens. it’s some sort of protection, he thinks. not to you, but to protect him from the pain of having you stray away. 
(he never wants to let go).
the football player twists his body to trap you even further on the mattress, burying his face on your chest and tangling his legs with yours. your giggle reverberates through his whole body and brings warmth to his cheeks. his heart flutters, and he can’t even find it in him to hate it. 
you must have put a spell on him, he concludes.
“i’m serious. i need to make breakfast,” you say again when he doesn’t answer.
“don’t wanna.”
“you don’t want breakfast?”
“nuh-uh.”
you giggle again, and this time, you seem to give in, relaxing your body and welcoming him in your embrace. sae can only sigh in satisfaction when you card your fingers through his reddish-brown locks, relishing in the peace only you seem to be able to give him.
“i wonder what people would think if they knew how clingy the all mighty itoshi sae can be,” the teasing lit in your tone doesn’t go unnoticed by him, and you earn a scoff.
“shut up,” he quips, although there’s no real bite in it. “you love me.”
and you must not be from this world, because it’s easy — the way you pick up on any slight nuance of his voice or demeanor. it’s so fucking easy for you to read him like an open book and to give the reassurance he so desperately needs; albeit unaware. 
your voice becomes impossibly soft, “i do, baby. i love you so much.”
you kiss his forehead, and after wandering around for so long, sae thinks he’s finally home. 
for a while, you two just stay there, in bed, wrapped in each other in a way you can’t know where he starts and where you end. the thought of being one with you makes him happy, but that’s just another item in his long list of things he would never admit. 
your sweet voice breaks the silence. 
“we’re gonna be in bed all day?” there’s nothing but pure curiosity in your voice. no judgment — you never judge him, despite the way he deserves it sometimes. the thought makes his chest tighten with the amount of love he has harbored just for you.
sometimes he thinks he’s too small for it, and he’s scared all this love will overflow and consume him whole. though, it’s even scarier to think he wouldn’t mind: sae is yours. you can have all that he has and all that he is. 
“just a little longer,” he whispers, a little more vulnerable than he would like. but it’s okay. it’s always okay when it’s you. “please?”
you hum in agreement, continuing to caress his hair. 
“of course. whatever the birthday boy wants.”
sae allows himself to close his eyes and bask in your warmth, on the safety that you so effortlessly gave him. by smelling your perfume, he’s filled with gratitude for all the times he wondered what it was like to be loved by you.
“happy birthday, love.”
he’s glad he doesn’t have to wonder anymore.
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© 2023 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.
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faesdreaming · 1 year ago
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Yandere Deity - Altar
tw: yandere behaviour, possessive/obsessive behaviour, kidnapping, diety uses he/him pronouns, gaslighting, yandere using his abilities to mess with reader’s perception of reality
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“Haven’t you come to worship at my altar?”
•A lone Deity part of a forgotten pantheon, lost to the sands of time. What once was a bountiful temple; filled with offerings and gifts of fruits, meats, candles, with sounds of prayers and hymns of worship ringing through the halls, people streaming in to sing his praise, is now nothing but an empty ruin.
•He’s so very lonely. Nary a person has come to visit him in centuries. Years pass by and he has nothing, no one. Until you. A fateful eve when you happen upon the temple. Hidden away in the heart of a lush jungle, you, an archaeologist, find your El Dorado, your city of gold. You’d long since heard tales of a lost civilization, an Atlantis on land. Yet, here the remnants lay in front of your eyes.
•At the heart of the ruins lays a temple, grand and golden. Although time has chipped away at its’ grandeur, it’s still glorious, in your opinion. It’s a testament to humanity’s evolution. You don’t notice him though, no one does. But he’s noticed you. Nosy little thing, aren’t you? Impudent, little mortal wretch. He ought to kill you for your audacity. Daring to defile his sacred temple, you deserve nothing but the most painful end,
•But, you’re not actually defiling it, are you? You’re so respectful, treating every artifact as though it were the Holy Grail. You revere his temple, it’s a wonder, a marvel to you. It, you treatment, you reverence— you make him feel something new, something foreign. The attention you give him is intoxicating. He’s been forgotten, left behind. Yet, you’re here now. And he isn’t going to let you go.
•So, when a series of natural disasters occurs and suddenly your team is halved, some leaving after the first incident, others meeting fates you don’t want to recall. The others are slowly losing hope, they’ve lost friends, money, time to your passion project. This is your life’s work, you can’t just give up, can you? You don’t want to. You really don’t. But you’re smart enough to know when to cut your losses.
•Then, another freak accident hits. This time is more devastating. Nobody escaped unscathed, nobody escapes at all. Nobody is except for you. You slip in and out of consciousness. One moment, you’re in the rubble amongst your dead coworkers and friends, and suddenly you’re in a bed, soft and warm. You’re delirious, unable to actually make out anything. But you’re certain there’s someone taking care of you. A man. A beautiful man, something, someone, divine. His touch is soft and gentle. Caring even. He placates you with sweet platitudes you can’t quite comprehend in this state, but the smooth baritone of his voice makes your heart soar.
•When you fully regain consciousness, you’re able to see your surroundings. You’re in a room filled with luxury. Ornate decor, golden furniture, the whole nine yards. It’s impressive, if not a little, a lot, off-putting. How did you get here? Who was the man taking care of you? Thousands of questions and thoughts flood your mind. It’s interrupted by him, the man.
“You’re finally awake. How are you feeling?”
•You blink in confusion. It’s—he’s— everything is too much. Too overwhelming. He chuckles, it’s a rich sound that sends shivers down your spine. He reassures you, slowly and gently placing a strong hand of on your shoulder. There’s something commanding in his soft tone, something compelling you to swallow the lump in your throat and obey. He laughs again and you blush.
•He introduces himself as the one who’s been taking care of you. Doesn’t offer you any explanation as to why, but you ought to be grateful. After all, you could have been left out to die. He offers you food and water. You eat like a man starved and drink the water as though it were the sweetest ambrosia. He offers to let you stay here— where is here?— with him.
“You may leave whenever you decide to leave.”
•He promises, even escorts you out of the room, down halls that moves and shift, and spin around. You’re dizzy, delirious, unable to care for yourself. He carries you back to the room. How embarrassing. Your apologies when you regain your composure are shrugged off. It’s fine, he insists. You’re sick, vulnerable. He reiterates his offer, stay until you get better— you could’ve sworn he said stay forever— and are able to fend for yourself. You nod your head in agreement. It’s the logical choice, really. You’d probably die on your own.
•He smiles a brilliant smile at you, swears he’ll care for you diligently. And he has been, hasn’t he? You’re beginning to trust him, have faith— why?— in him. He stays true to his word. Working tirelessly to care for not only your body but your mind as well. Sleepless nights are spent with him by your side, telling you folktales and myths, singing soft lullabies to lull you to sleep, or even merely conversing with you. Days are spent improving your health. He feeds you by hand sometimes when you are too weak to do it yourself. When your health shows signs of improvement, you both go on walks, exploring the extensive gardens and many palace— temple, building, you’re not sure where you are— halls.
•He gifts you with many things too. Soft silk robes, shining jewels, ancient tomes and books, everything you desire you’re given. It’s not your fault, really, that you start to love him— do you?— especially not when’s he’s so kind. So handsome, beautiful really. He looks inhuman, like something divine. He’s attentive and nurturing. Your own prince charming. Your feelings grow as time progresses— how long has it been, you need to leave— until you can’t contain it.
•One day, as he presses a warm cloth to your forehead, you notice just how close he is. How he’s just out of touch. You greedily drink it in, unconsciously inching closer until your lips are pressed against his. The kiss is soft, chaste and you immediately pull away. Your stammering and feeble apologies are interrupted by his hand cupping your cheek. He leans in, your heart thumping in your chest, and kisses you again. This time, you don’t pull away.
•He, your lover, your heart loves you too. It’s surreal— too surreal— and your days spent together become all the more special. You’re utterly content with him, he’s become the air you breathe, the light of your life, you’re everything. It’s only natural for you to become consumed by him. By your life with your beloved— to forget you ever had a life before— spending eternity forever in his arms.
“We only have until forever, love.”
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mclacedes · 3 months ago
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The Idea of You (LN4)
2. The Idea of Worthiness
summary: in which lando decides to make it up for ghostin you
previous ••• next
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WARNINGS: it's pretty much all angst. in-depth described anxiety attack, anxious behaviour/mannerisms, description of depression and suicidal ideation, loneliness
wc: 3k
“but what if i can't do it?”
A/N: before anything else, i want to make it clear that my intention is NOT to trigger any kind of trauma in anyone with this. the reader has been warned of potential triggers. if you are going through some kind of psychological hardship, know that there are people who care and who worry <3 you are never 100% alone!
january 1st, 2024 — 3:30pm
you came home with a knot in your chest that seemed to tighten with every breath. the morning had been a blur, an awkward dance around lando’s mother as you searched for a polite excuse to leave.
of course you'd chosen the most simple and non-negotiable of lies: i need to spend some time with my relatives.
despite it being faintly true, you knew you'd spend the whole day with lando's family if the circumstances were different.
the night's words lingered in your mind as you walked out, wishing it could cover the truth: you couldn’t bear the thought of facing lando after what had happened—or rather, after what didn’t happen.
now, the silence in your own home was suffocating. you slumped onto the couch, your mind replaying the scene on a loop: lando's words, lando's reassurance, the way his lips had bruised yours, the heat of his breath so close, his hands on you, his hands in you, his fingers’ magic, and then... you wake up alone.
now, you knew lando felt the same, you knew that things could work out, you knew just the intensity of your feelings for him. but you also knew he hadn't texted you back all day and, seemingly, nobody knew where he was.
as his closest friend, you knew that he'd only have left that way if something really bad had happened.
what you didn't know though, was how bad it felt for him.
it had been a long time since lando had received the diagnosis. after years of wondering what was wrong with him and why he felt such a void within himself, he'd been told he had depression.
what they say is that treatment is easier when you have the right diagnosis, but that doesn't erase the fact that some days were infinitely more difficult than others—harder to get out of bed, harder to leave the house, to work, and singularly hard to live, specially because the latter is the last thing you want during a depressive episode.
he started going to therapy regularly when he was a minor, forced by his parents, but when he became an adult he left—said that talking about how horrible he felt wouldn't help, it would only make him feel worse.
and then the episodes gradually became worse as his life improve. for example, before arriving in F1, he oftentimes found himself fighting against the urge to simply end it all: the pain, the suffering, the disruption, the constant failed attempt at a better day, his very life.
even though he never attempted it, lando was caught contemplating the possibility of the end; he used to wonder how people would react when they heard "lando norris died, suicide", what it would be like if he wasn't here anymore.
“such a kind soul”
“such a beautiful boy”
“smart, funny”
“talented guy”
that's what people would say, in the best of cases.
in the worse of cases people wouldn't even notice he was gone.
well, following next to depression was anxiety.
lando’s anxiety was a constant undercurrent to his depression, feeding off it, amplifying it, tangling him further in a web of self-doubt. it was always there, an invisible weight pressing down, but some days it grew loud enough to silence every other part of him, like a swarm of thoughts buzzing incessantly, trapping him in a looping worry about everything and nothing all at once.
it started with racing—the very thing he loved was also the source of his most unrelenting fears. despite his undeniable talent and the acclaim he’d earned, the worry always crept in: what if i mess up? what if i’m not good enough? what if it’s all just a fluke, and one day everyone realizes i’m a fraud?
he dreaded that moment when the lights turned green, not because of the physical danger but because of the psychological toll—that split-second when any mistake, any misstep, could spiral out into a visible, unforgivable failure.
even beyond racing, the anxiety spilled into every facet of his life. he overthought every message he sent, every interaction, analyzing them for any hint of rejection, any confirmation of his worst fears. if he didn’t receive a response right away, his mind spun stories, convincing him he’d somehow upset the person or made a fool of himself.
and now, with you, it was worse. his feelings were tangled with worry and doubt; he feared you’d eventually see through his flaws, his bad days, his cracks, and walk away. the closeness you’d shared the night before terrified him. he wanted you desperately, yet that desire to let you in also exposed him to his greatest fear: that he would scare you away merely by the fact that he existed.
this anxiety could sometimes send him into a state of paralysis, leaving him unable to reach out, unable to bridge the gap even when he wanted nothing more than to feel your presence, to hear your voice. today was one of those days—the aftermath of a moment so perfect, so vulnerable, that his mind filled with a thousand worries. he couldn’t bring himself to message you, to even show you the rawness of his internal struggle. instead, he withdrew, waiting for the fog to clear enough for him to reach for you again.
but you had tried.
you: lando hey
you: i'm worried abt u
you: text me whenever u get the chance pls
you: i'm right here if you wanna talk”
there were another 20 texts of kindred nature from you in his phone—you spent the afternoon rewinding what had happened, wondering if there were any signs that he would do something to himself or… the devil god knows what.
you had barely moved or done anything at all since you had gotten home because lando still hadn’t texted back, and the worry in your chest was growing impossible to ignore.
you’d known him for years—long enough to see the shadows he kept hidden behind his easy smile. he had always brushed off the subject, deflecting it with humor or quick changes in conversation. but today, his silence was colder, sharper, more unsettling than usual.
hours had passed since you last saw him, and finally, you gave in and sent him a message, trying not to let the desperation seep through.
you: lando, i hope you’re alright. let me know when you’re home safe, ok?
the message delivered, but no ‘read’ receipt appeared. your heart sank, and as you stared at the screen, scenarios spun wildly in your mind.
lando was good at hiding. he knew how to pour himself into everything and everyone else, keeping busy, laughing, entertaining—until he couldn’t. when the episodes came, he retreated so far into himself that it was like trying to find someone in a pitch-black room.
you tried calling him. the line rang and rang, finally going to voicemail. your voice was barely a whisper as you left a message.
“lando… if you see this, please just… come home. or let me know you’re okay. i’m here, alright? no matter what, i’m here.”
when the call ended, the silence in your apartment felt just as cold as his void.
unbeknownst to you, he was okay.
at least that's what he said to max when he called saying cisca was worried about him. and thats what he said when he called his mom.
“i’m okay.”
but he knew there was nothing okay with him right now.
far away, in his silent retreat, a wave of coldness washed over him, and his breath coming in sharp, shallow gasps. that feeling in his chest was known: he was panicking.
it felt like the walls were closing in, a vice squeezing his chest tighter with every passing second. his hands trembled, fingers twitching as if searching for something to anchor him, to ground him in reality. he fought to keep his breathing steady, but the more he tried, the more elusive calm became. memories of your kiss haunted him—both a balm and a wound. how could something so beautiful leave him feeling so lost?
what if i’m not enough for her? he thought
a tight knot of fear formed in his stomach, mingling with the ache of longing. was he really ready for this? for you? for love? the questions spiraled, colliding with the weight of his own expectations and the pressure of his career. he couldn’t shake the sense that he was on the brink of something monumental, yet all he felt was the crushing weight of uncertainty.
the doubt crept in, fueled by echoes of his past, whispers of inadequacy that had followed him through the years. he recalled the stinging memories of being told he wasn’t good enough, of moments when his efforts felt like they never quite measured up. every trophy he’d won and every incredible milestone he had achieved done little to silence those voices. instead, they morphed into an insidious belief that no matter how hard he tried, he would always be a step behind, always falling short.
what if she hates me?
with you, the stakes felt impossibly high. what if he couldn’t be the partner you deserved? what if the pressure of the spotlight overwhelmed him and drove you away? those thoughts twisted in his gut, feeding the anxiety that swelled within him. he imagined you in a world where he wasn’t there, finding someone who could offer you the stability and unwavering support he feared he lacked. the very thought crushed him, deepening the ache in his chest, as it reminded him of all the times he had to fight for validation, only to come up empty-handed.
he was scared of what loving you meant, terrified of failing you, terrified of failing himself. the weight of it all felt unbearable, a heavy blanket of dread that threatened to suffocate him.
what if i fail her?
lando was too scared, too anxious. with every breath, his lungs ached, and with every tear that gathered in his eyes, he felt weaker. it was as if he were standing on the edge of a precipice, the ground crumbling beneath him, and the vast unknown loomed below—a place filled with possibilities but also with the risk of falling into darkness. he clenched his fists, nails digging into his palms, trying to ground himself as the rising tide of emotions threatened to pull him under.
every heartbeat felt like a reminder of his vulnerability, a painful pulse that echoed the uncertainty gnawing at his core. he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was teetering on the edge of something profound, yet all he could focus on was the suffocating fear of not being enough. the love he felt for you, so pure and intoxicating, was also a heavy burden, weighed down by his past failures and fears. the thought of letting you down, of not living up to the promise of what could be, sent chills racing down his spine.
she's too perfect, i'm a mess
as tears spilled over and streamed down his cheeks, he felt a mix of shame and desperation. lando had always prided himself on being strong, on facing challenges head-on, yet here he was—vulnerable and exposed, battling an internal storm that felt relentless. the very act of loving you felt like a gamble, one that he wasn't sure he was ready to take. would he be brave enough to step forward, to embrace the chaos of his heart, or would he retreat back into the safety of his own fears?
with every sob that escaped him, the overwhelming tide of emotion pulled him deeper, and he struggled to keep his head above water. the thought of calling you, of reaching out for the connection he craved, felt both necessary and terrifying. what if you saw him like this—raw, broken, and afraid? what if he could never find the words to explain what he felt, or worse, what if you saw him as nothing more than a disappointment?
what if she saw me for who i truly am?
taking a shaky breath, he reached for his phone thrown on the couch, sitting on it. his hands were still trembling as he dialed the only person, besides you, who he knew wouldn't judge, but understand him.
“hey, mate, how you doing?” max fewtrell greeted him with his usual easy grin, only for the smile to falter the second he took in lando’s state: tears streaked his face, his eyes swollen and red, his nose and cheeks raw from wiping at them. his lips, split and bloodied, told the story of how he’d been biting them all day. lando’s breath hitched in his throat, his words barely making it out.
“hey… mate, i—” he tried, but the lump in his throat choked him. lando couldn’t even speak.
“lando, what happened?” max said, his voice low and steady, concern etched across his face.
“i think i… i fucked things up with Y/N,” lando's voice cracked, desperation pouring from him as if his world was unraveling right there in front of max.
the sight in front of max sent a chill through his spine. lando's looks, disheveled, like he’d been pulling at it in frustration all day. his bright green eyes were dulled, sunken and rimmed with red. the bags beneath them were dark, a stark contrast against his pale skin. his hands trembled on his knees, unable to steady themselves. his chest heaved, like the panic was consuming him from the inside, leaving only a fragile shell of the person max had known for years.
lando wiped at his face, the back of his hand coming away wet. he shook his head, sinking deeper into the couch.
“we kissed, we slept together and i pushed her away, max. i—i could’ve stayed. i could’ve—” his breath caught again, ragged and uneven. “but i left with no explanation. i went up and left her there, max… i’m so stupid.” he cried out.
lando’s breath hitched, and he pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to stop the tears, but it was no use. his shoulders shook, and a sob escaped him, raw and unfiltered. he hadn’t felt this way in a long time—like he was too broken to be loved.
"max, i’m a mess," he whispered, his voice cracking. "i couldn’t stay, i couldn’t even look at her this morning because… because she deserves better. i mean, look at me," he gestured to himself, his hands trembling. “i’m fucked up, max. i couldn’t even say the words, couldn’t even be honest. how can i be with her when i don’t even know what’s going on in my own head?”
max’s brows furrowed, his face softening as he listened. lando looked like he was spiraling, and it hurt max to see his best friend like this—feeling like he didn’t deserve something good because he was caught in his own storm.
“lando, mate,” max started, carefully choosing his words, “you’re not as messed up as you think you are. yeah, you’ve got stuff going on, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve her, or that you don’t deserve to be happy. and running away from her because you think you’re too broken for her… that’s not the answer.”
lando shook his head, wiping at his eyes, his voice trembling as he spoke. “but i am broken, max. i don’t even know how to deal with my own shit, let alone someone else’s. she’s this… this amazing person, and i’m just… i’m just me. she deserves someone who has it all figured out, not someone who’s going to bolt the second things get real.”
max let out a breath, leaning forward a bit. “no one has it all figured out, lando. not me, not her, not anyone. she’s not expecting you to be perfect, she’s expecting you to be real with her. that’s all. and yeah, maybe you’re not in the best place right now, but you can’t let that be the reason you push her away.”
lando let the words sink in, but it didn’t ease the heaviness inside him. “i left because i thought… i thought i’d hurt her more by staying. i didn’t want her to see me like this. i didn’t want her to see how much of a mess i am.”
“but by leaving, you hurt her anyway,” max said gently. “because she cares about you. and if you care about her too, you’ve got to let her in, even if it’s messy, even if you don’t have all the answers. it’s okay to not have everything together, lando. it’s okay to be scared. but you can’t run from this.”
lando swallowed hard, staring at the floor, his fingers gripping the edge of the couch until his knuckles turned white. max was right. he had run—run because he didn’t think he was good enough, run because the idea of her seeing all his cracks terrified him.
“but what if i can’t do it? what if i let her down again?” lando’s voice was barely audible now, thick with doubt.
max’s expression softened even more. “then you figure it out, together. but you’ve got to give her the chance to make that choice. don’t decide for her that you’re not good enough. let her in. let her see you, even the parts you’re scared to show. that’s how you build something real.”
lando’s breath came in short, shallow bursts, his heart pounding in his chest. the thought of opening up like that—to be fully seen, in all his messiness, all his vulnerability—scared him more than any race ever had. but the thought of losing Y/N, of pushing her away because of his own fear… that scared him even more.
“yeah, sure,” lando whispered, his voice hoarse. “i need to talk to her. i need to fix this.”
max smiled softly, relief flickering in his eyes. “yeah, mate. you do.”
after bidding his best friend farewell, lando sat and tried to calm himself down by pressing his fingers with exposed raw flesh due to the fact he had gnawed at his own hands out of anxiety. he had to come up with something to make it up to you. he needed to.
TAGGINGS: @meglouise00 @rawr-123s-stuff
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captain-bubble-wrap · 7 days ago
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I'm curious how do you think Quinn would handle a breakup? Maybe one where he's being broken up with?
Boy, was this one hard to write... 90% of this is based on my last breakup, so... it's pretty... painful. SO ENJOY my misery! (I gave you a better ending than I had IRL, so you're welcome for that at least.)
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"I loved you, I really did."
"It doesn't have to be this way," Quinn begged. "I still love you, Y|N."
"But you don't show it, Quinn. I've been so alone for so long and I just can't put myself through this anymore." Tears had been streaming down your face for several minutes now, since this whole spiraling conversation had started, yet you never broke eye contact with him. You wanted him to know how much this was hurting you to say and just how long you had been carrying the weight of it all.
"I tried to tell myself it would pass. It was this excuse, and that excuse, but nothing ever changed. I just don't think you can handle a relationship and your career right now. I'm tired of lying to myself. I'm tired of acting like tomorrow will magically be better. It's never better."
"Y|N I'm sorry--"
"I'm sure you are, and so am I, but I can't do this anymore. I just can't."
Quinn said nothing, his eyes dropped from your face while he stood there looking completely lost.
"You always say I don't deserve to feel the way I do when I'm down, because you've caused me to feel that way, but that's as far as it goes. Nothing ever changes. It's the same stuff over and over."
"I know, that's on me," he choked out, throat tight with anxiety. "I never intended to hurt you. I didn't think things were as bad as they were. I didn't realize I was hurting you."
You just shook your head in disbelief at hearing him say he hadn't noticed what he was doing to you. "You know, maybe I just asked too much from you. Maybe I demanded too much and you had no choice but to push back. I just don't know."
Quinn's eyes flick back to you immediately, "You were never too much, and I meant that every time I told you -- every time I tried to reassure you. You have always been there for me."
"And what about you? Where were you when I needed you the most? Distant, closed off, out with the guys? Even when you were beside me, you weren't really there. I begged you to do stuff with me and you'd say sure, but something would always come up. It was like you wanted an excuse to be away from me. I understood in the beginning, but fuck! I wouldn't hear from you until the next day. 'Sorry, I fell asleep. I left my phone at the hotel.' How could I not be suspicious?"
"I never cheated on you!" Quinn cried out.
"But, Quinn, the goddamn panic attacks you caused me! That hurt me!" Your voice was so much louder now, straining to remain below a yell. He was a blur in your eyes, with the tears obstructing your vision. "I begged you for the smallest of things! Christ, I'd say, 'good night, I love', and it was like you'd just ignore what I said. You never said anything the next morning! You say you love me, but you're horrible at showing it."
Quinn's voice, on the other hand, was growing smaller each time he had to plead his case. "I never fell out of love with you, Y|N, it's just like we drifted apart. I love how you treat me. I just wasn't used to being treated that way. I'm sorry if it came off like I was pushing you away."
"It was months though, Quinn. Months of feeling like I was the third wheel or just another friend. I don't like feeling so alone in a relationship. It's horrible."
"I don't know what else to say, but I'm sorry. Can I do anything to make this better?"
You were biting your bottom lip so hard when you heard his half-assed apology you tasted blood shortly after. "No, I don't think so. Too much has happened. I never thought we'd come to this. I thought you were going to be the last guy I had to open up to; the last guy I'd have to explain my past to. I wanted you to be my last, Quinn."
"I know, and I'm sorry I hurt you like this. I just got too comfortable and never checked in with how you were feeling. It was selfish of me. I'm not proud of any of this."
"I'm sorry it had to be this way, too. Sorry I had to bring this up out of the blue, but I've just reached my breaking point one too many times."
Even through all of your anger and sadness, you wanted to walk over to him and give him one last hug, but you had to stand your ground or all of these revelations would be for nothing. Too many times before you had talked yourself out of telling him how you had felt, but there would be no going backwards now.
"I've got to put myself first for one," you finally brought yourself to say. "I'll get my stuff out of here while you're on the road."
"Y|N--," he mumbled, his eyes so sorrowful hearing you say your goodbyes, so finite and decided.
"I hope everything works out for you, Quinn. I really do. I hope you find the person that's right for you. Someone who can handle your life and schedule. Again, I'm sorry but that doesn't appear to be me."
That was it. You had said everything you had argued with yourself over for months, in a matter of minutes, and now you were leaving his apartment. You'd linger on your decision for a moment once the door closed behind you, but you had to force yourself to go forward though your heart was begging you to go back.
On the other side of the door, you wouldn't hear him finally break down; his cries unheard and his heart shattered.
You'd reach the parking garage and get in your car but you didn't leave immediately -- almost like you were wanting to see if Quinn was just behind you, but the elevator door never opened. It was for the best. What would you have done if he had? Run back over to him? Say you were sorry? It was best not to think about the what-ifs.
It would hit you, as you rolled onto the street, that the next time you returned it would be to get your things, and likely the last time you'd ever be at his apartment. That apartment held so many memories, both good and bad. It felt more like home than your own did.
You'd find yourself in a silent argument the whole drive home until one song, on your shuffled playlist, catches your ear. It was Venice Bitch, by Lana del Rey, a song you loved until, for the first time, you noticed how much it aligned with your emotions.
"Fresh out of fucks forever, trying to be stronger for you. Ice cream, ice queen... oh god, miss you on my lips. It's me, your little Venice bitch...on the stoop with the neighborhood kids, calling out bang-bang kiss-kiss...and as the summer fades away, nothing gold can stay...you're right, I told you we'd make it work, you're beautiful and I'm insane...we're American made...give me Hallmark: one dream, one life, one lover...paint me happy and blue."
The music swells, as your tears run off your jawline. You loved Quinn so much! He had been the prince you had dreamed of, wished for and what had you done?
"Oh god, love him on my lips...touch me with your fingertips...it's me your little Venice bitch."
You'd pull in your driveway, your forehead resting against the steering wheel while you screamed out in agony at your broken heart. Your body hurt from crying for so long, throat sore from such loud emotions, and chest heavy with anxiety. Eventually, you'd exit your car and drag yourself to your front door. You couldn't just crawl into bed after all of that, you would need help in crying yourself to sleep. So, in the kitchen, you'd go through two glasses of wine while you convinced yourself you were such an idiot. Realizing you had thrown away the best thing to ever happen to you, you would being crying to loudly, it was like you were screaming. It was any wonder you hadn't awoken your sleeping neighbors next door. There was no fixing this now. What was done, was done.
All you wanted was some comfort but there would be no one to give you any. Not now. You felt you didn't deserve it anyway.
Leaving the glass and open bottle on the island, you forced yourself to the bathroom to wash your face. Seeing yourself in the mirror --how broken you looked-- had you been any weaker, you would have thrown something at it to erase the image from your mind. If only it would have been that easy to erase Quinn's sad eyes pleading for you not to leave. You wish you would have just left the light off.
In your bedroom, either out of habit or for comfort you grabbed a shirt to sleep in, which had been one of Quinn's. It hadn't taken long for the slight buzz to affect you but you felt no lighter or less phased by your actions. You wondered if you ever would.
As you figured you would, you'd cry into your pillow until flat exhaustion would pull you into sleep. That was until the buzzing of your phone would wake you from the light slumber. On the screen, "Huggy Bear" illuminated the room in bold, white letters. You ended the call, but no sooner had the phone screen gone black, it was flashing again. Like the first one, you swiped the red button and the ringing finally ceased. The next time the phone would buzz would be from a text notification. The words would send butterflies pulling your heart in one hundred different directions.
"I'm outside. Please, may I talk to you?"
Torn between leaving him out there in the cold, and actually giving him a moment to say what he needed to, you laid there for a few minutes before throwing the blankets aside and stumbling down the hall to the living room. Wiping your cheeks, you unlocked the door to find him standing there, his hoodie pulled up around his messy curls and his eyes bloodshot and wet.
You lean against the doorframe for support; arms crossed in an attempt to hide your deeper emotions.
"Y|N, I don't want things to be this way. I don't want things to end like this."
It was so hard, but you stood your ground, no matter how hard you wanted to fall into his body and tell him you were sorry.
"I'll try harder. I shouldn't have taken you for granted like I did."
Finally, you say something to him with a slight shaking of your head," This wasn't all on you. I asked too much. I'm sorry."
Your stifled cries can't be held back for long, and shortly after apologizing, you cover your face with your hands to hide your crying. Your whimpers stab Quinn in the heart all over again, still feeling he's the sole reason you're feeling this way. He steps forward, and wraps his arms around you. He's so warm against the cold night air, which causes your nails to dig into his back, allowing yourself to return his embrace.
"I'm so sorry! I'm so, so sorry!" You cried out, holding on to him like a lifeline.
"So am I," Quinn whispered in to your ear, trying to keep you from a panic attack. "C'mon, let's get you back inside. Is that okay?"
You'd allow him to guide you back into the warmth of the your house. He would be the one to shut and lock the door, and through all of that, he'd still keep you pressed against his chest.
"I never wanted to make you cry," he confessed, never realizing how much he could miss the feeling of you in his arms.
"I can't believe I hurt you like that, Quinn," you replied, hiding your face from his.
"Don't apologize, please." he said, nearly on the brink of tears himself. "I'm sorry I hurt you so much that we even got to this point in the first place."
The fact that he had even wanted to see you, to drive outside of the city to get to you, and above all else, not telling you how much of a horrible person you had been, spoke volumes of Quinn's willingness to be better for you. He wrapped both arms around you tighter than he ever had before. You were shivering, wearing nothing but that oversized t-shirt, but you didn't care; being cold wasn't going to take away whatever this moment was with Quinn.
"Are you okay?" He asked, running a hand up and down your spine. "You're shaking."
"I don't know."
"Come on, pretty girl, let's get you back to bed, hm? If you'll let me."
You nod, but were still reluctant to let go of him. Now you were forced to face him and it felt terrible to still see him looking so heartbroken. His cheeks were still wet with fresh tears, as he had apparently been silently crying while he had been holding you. You touched his face and his eyes closed against your touch.
"I'm sorry."
His eyes would open again, and he would try to smile for you. "I'm sorry, too."
Without another world, Quinn would guide you back down the hall to your bedroom, rather familiar with where everything was in the house. The light was off, your phone lay in the middle of the bed with the screen on. Your wallpaper was a picture of Quinn and yourself at last year's Stanley Cup playoffs, and it was the only light in the room. Quinn would click on one of the bedside lamps before reaching for your phone.
"I always loved that photo," he said, lingering on the photo for a moment before shutting off the screen and laying it next to the lamp.
You'd crawl into the bed and he would move to tuck you in, "I don't want you to hate me, Quinn."
He'd stop moving to return his eyes to your face. "I don't, sweetheart. I don't think I could...ever. It hasn't crossed my mind."
"But--"
"I'm not upset with you, baby. This is on me. What you said was true: I should have paid more attention.
You gasped through the beginnings of another crying fit, "I don't deserve it!"
"Shh, shh," Quinn leaned forward to cradle your face with his hand. "I needed to hear it, baby. The truth hurts sometimes. I'll be okay once you are."
"Will you-- will you stay tonight?" You asked, terrified he could possibly deny your request, trying to stop crying.
"Of course," he managed to actually smile. "I'd love to."
"Quinn, I'm so--"
"It's okay, it's okay. We've both said it enough."
You'd sniffle with an added nod as he pulled back the covers to get in next to you. He'd turn off the lamp before you found your place against his chest.
"I'll be right here when you get up, okay?" He assured.
"Promise?" You mumbled.
"I promise. I also promise not to make you feel like this again."
You didn't know what to say. It was like he had completely forgiven you for everything. "I don't want to lose you."
"You haven't sweetheart. I'm right here," he said, running a hand through your hair. "I love you."
Quinn's admission made you cry again, "I love you, too, baby."
"Shh, shh, you don't need to cry. I'm right here. I'm yours as long as you want me."
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dollfacefantasy · 9 months ago
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Hey girly, love ur writing!!! could you do a leon x fem reader and they are doing the deed and there are other people there are they are tryna stay quiet 🤭🤭 like i lowk imagine leon being kinda needy but idk! thank u girl!!
thank you so much and ofc, here's a little drabble for this <3
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, exhibitionism (someone else in the room)
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"Leon. Be quiet. He's gonna wake up," you whine, taking extra care to keep your voice lowered.
"I'm trying, baby. Not my fault you're so fucking tight," he murmurs against the shell of your ear.
You had picked up your boyfriend and his friend Chris from the airport earlier that day. It was a long drive. Apparently their sectors of the government didn't have the competence to drop them a little bit closer to where you lived. You had insisted on just driving through the night, but Leon and Chris were exhausted. They wanted to stretch out on a bed and pass out for the night. Even if the hotel you'd come across only had one available room left.
You feel another moan about to seep from Leon's lips. In an effort to prevent this, you dig your nails into his forearm which was over your chest. His hand rested on your throat, giving him leverage to continue plowing into you from behind.
The little crescents do nothing to silence him and only serve to turn his low pitched moan into a needy whine.
"Leon, shut up!" you whimper.
Your eyes are locked on Chris as your boyfriend ruts into you. His hips smack against your ass, but he's not going fast enough to make any disturbing noise.
"Hush, honey, he sleeps like a fucking rock, trust me," he whispers.
He aims to reassure you with some wet kisses behind your ear. You knew this was wrong and that you should've protested. If Chris did wake up, you'd be humiliated and guilty. But fuck, he just felt so good.
His cock keeps sliding into your soaked cunt just right. Each stroke hits another mark of pleasure. It was a miracle you were able to keep some semblance of composure. To keep yourself quiet, you clutch the blankets in your fists though, so hard it nearly pains you. Leon didn't have the same discipline. This entire time his panting and whimpering drips right into your ear. The noises were among your favorites in the world, always guranteed to make you squirm.
"That's it. That's a good girl," he coos upon hearing no further protests, "Just relax for me, babydoll."
The thought was a persuasive one. You could feel yourself beginning to melt into the crisp hotel sheets just like how you would in your own bed at home. Half of your face presses against the pillow case. His hips never stop moving beneath the blankets. He couldn't get enough of your velvety warmth wrapped around him.
As you feel yourself starting to build to that sweet release, you see Chris start to shift. Your eyes had been locked on him the whole time, preparing for this exact scenario. Panic floods your mind. Had he been awake since the beginning? Had he been watching? Was he pissed?
Your heart pounds even harder against your ribcage as your fingers release the blanket and return to his arm.
"Leon!" you gasp.
He can tell from the infliction in your tone that it's not a gasp of ecstasy. His thrusts come to a screeching halt. His eyes that were half-lidded with a combination of lust and fatigue open a little more. He spots the same movement you did.
Fairly certain it was some usual tossing and turning, he pulls you closer to his chest and nuzzles the side of your head.
"Stay quiet, babe. We're gonna be fine," he whispers even quieter than before.
The two of you do exactly that. You stay still and silent. It was kind of nice, the calm feeling of just being full without any sparks of pleasure. But Leons arm begins to move.
Your eyes dart down and watch his limb slither below your t-shirt and up to your breast, taking one of the warm mounds in his hand. He just rests it there as the both of you continue to pretend to sleep as if he needed to feel more of you. Being buried inside of you just wasn't enough to sate his desire.
As soon as Chris has settled facing the opposite direction and you're both confident he's fast asleep, Leon begins pumping his hips again. And with the return of the movement, comes the return of his noises. He grunts, groans, mewls. Anything he needs to in order to spur on his own release.
You just let him this time without any complaints, figuring he may finish and get you to finish a bit faster with the lack of bickering.
His cock begins to pulse within you. As his thrusts get sloppier and a bit more erratic, you know the end is near. Your hand delves down between your legs, pads of your fingers rubbing at your clit a little to give yourself that extra friction needed to join him.
He cums first. His hips stop, pelvis flush against your backside. At first, you're sure he's gonna wake someone. His noises are only a little louder, but they're much more frequent. You feel him spill every drop within you as he shoots rope after rope. You're not far behind and cum a few seconds later. Your legs twitch as your walls clamp down around his already sensitive length, drawing more needy sound from him.
While the two of you come down, he murmurs into your ear. His words are all breathy from the bliss that had just entered his system.
"Christ, angel. So perfect for me," he says with a small kiss to your head.
You reciprocate the affection, but some anxiety still lingers within you.
"You really think he didn't hear?" you ask, looking up into his eyes for reassurance.
"No way. We're clear," he says, granting your wish before grinning at you, "Besides, if he did, I'm sure he'd enjoy the show."
Your eyes widen at his little clip and you lightly pinch his bicep. "Shut up. For real this time," you tease.
"You got it, boss," he says, planting one more kiss on your lips.
You roll your eyes but still get comfy in bed as he pulls out and fixes the two of you. After falling back into position, it's not hard to fall asleep. You fit against each other perfectly. His chest is so warm against your back. Everything just feels right, especially since you were sure you'd just pulled off the heist of the century.
You fall asleep on cloud nine but are quickly brought back to reality the next morning when the three of you check out. You're carrying your bags out while Chris holds the door for you. Leon's putting things in the trunk already, eager to get home and have some true alone time with you.
As far as you knew, you were in the clear. That was until Chris gave the room one last glace and then turned his gaze to you.
"The next set of people better hope they clean the sheets really well," he says with a teasing smile.
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pushingboi · 2 months ago
Text
We sit together in our bed, just the two of us in the quiet of the early morning. You trace circles over my skin, your fingers connecting with the muffled, constricted movements of your baby in my belly.
I'm swollen and round, my big belly sitting low. Though my womb is warm and safe, it's growing much too cramped, and it's about time for our baby to come into the world.
The contractions hit fast and hard, and with each blinding ache I bury myself in your warm chest for comfort. You kiss my hair, hold my hand and reassure me the whole way through.
"Oh, god.." I moan. I can feel every stretched muscle constricting down, and I can feel just how low the head is sitting already, the way it settles above the bowl of my pelvis. The sensation is more intense than ever, and I toss and turn in distress.
"I know, I know. It's alright, you're doing so good." You attempt to reassure me. "It won't be long now and then the hard part will be over."
The contraction channels downwards and i suddenly feel a sense of urgency accompanying the pressure. "Ahhhnnggh, fuck, I feel like I have to push!"
"Okay, wait wait wait!" You jump up to reposition yourself between my legs, never letting go of my hand. "Let me check-"
"It's too late, I'm fucking puushhhingg!!"
It hits like a freight train, and by the time you've reached inside to check my dilation, I'm already bearing down. You don't find my cervix, anyway; the slick, bulging forebag of my unbroken waters dams the way through.
"It's coming. Ngggh.. It's fucking coming, I can feel the head entering my birth canal. Oh god, help!"
"It's ok, it's ok! You got this! Just take a deep breath and push!"
I push silently, my eyes shut tight and brow furrowing. I gasp and let got, and then push again.
You move down between my legs to watch, stroking my big belly comfortingly.
"Thats it, good boy. Keep going, while you have a contraction!"
I take a deep breath and the next contraction starts. I tremble and brace through it.
"Good boy.. here, open your legs up for the baby to come."
You gently spread my thighs wider and even without pushing, I feel my hips being opened up from the inside by the pressure of the contraction. I whimper and shake, crying out in pain.
"I feel something.." I reach down and touch the veil of membranes beginning to protrude from my slit. "Oh my god, is that him?"
You slip your fingers in underneath to see how far back the head is. "No, that's just your waters, but that means he's moving!"
I sigh and take a deep breath. As the next contraction comes I start pushing slowly. I pause and breathe, and with each push, the sac emerges from my opening lips.
"Alright, I need you to give me a big one here, alright? Okay, on three. 1.. 2.. 3.. PUSH! Yeah! Big push!!"
I brace and bear down hard with your instruction. "Push push push!"
You watch as the sac becomes more and more taut as it reaches its limit, the membrane stretching thin around the milky fluid within. Just as you think it ought to break any moment, it bursts from just below my clit. I moan at the sudden release of pressure as the water gushes out of my birth canal, surging out through my slit and pooling onto the towels beneath my hips with a splash.
Now you reach inside again and finally feel the head for the first time.
"Good job, there he is! I can feel him!"
I on the other hand am very, very aware of the position of the head inside me. The release of pressure doesn't last, and the tide lurches the head forward to sit firmly inside the narrow of my pelvis. The pain and intensity is immense, I can't even speak through it.
"Hey. Hey." You take my hand. "You need to breathe, long and slow okay? Take a good slow breath for the baby."
I nod and oblige, but it's not long before the contraction returns in force, and with it, the unbearable urge to push. "Nnnghh.. I need him out of my belly.."
"Alright, here we go again." You say, gently running a hand over the bottom of my belly. I'm already pushing, but you continue to reinforce me. "Come on, push push push!"
"Holy fuck! Unfhhhhh- Aaaaghh! Fuck, I have to give birth!"
"You're doing great, i can see hair! I can see the head!"
I grip at my belly as I push. The baby feels so fucking big, stretching me to the bone, unfolding me so agonizingly in its inescapable fate to be born.
"Push! Push!"
My muscles strain, I shake with the effort. Deep in the throes of labour I push, push, bearing down through the pain. The head comes into view but momentarily, and then retreats back inside the moment I stop pushing.
"Keep those legs spread, babe. You can do it. He's coming!"
It's so constant I can't stop. There's nothing but pressure and pushing, through the feeling of that excruciating stretch. I make progress with every push, my pussy opening slowly but surely.
"Nhhhh.. nnnggghhhh.. gaaaaaaahhhh...!" I moan through the pain.
The head begins to crown bit by bit between my legs with each desperate push.
"Keep pushing! Keep pushing! He's almost here!"
The head slowly approaches the crown, having been pushed all the way through my hips and now bulging out my slick, swollen entrance.
"There you go, you're pushing so good! Your baby's crowning, and you're stretching so well.
There's no stopping it now. I gasp and pant, eyes gaping as I'm blinded by the pain. My pussy stretches to its limit around the huge head, and with one more big push, the nose and chin slip out as the head is born into your waiting hands. You promptly check for the cord, which thankfully isn't around the baby's neck.
My whole birth canal is stretched from the inside out around the rest of the body and I feel the shoulders rotate inside me.
I pant and pant for a moment, and it isn't long before the next desperate contraction. Now is the final stretch.
I push and push, the head wobbles between my legs but doesn't budge. The pain and pressure are immense. The stretching feeling is different, deeper, but what I feel is fullness - so much fullness as the baby's entire body transits my body through my pussy.
"Aghhh, fuck, I can't! It's too much! Get him out of me!"
"No, you have to do it. You can do it! You're doing great!"
"I- can't.."
"Take a deep breath. Deep breaths. Now PUSH. PUSH! You have to push your baby out!
"AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!"
You push back my thighs with each hand as I bear down, trying to open my pelvis and free the shoulders. Again the head wobbles from the strain but makes no progress towards being born.
"It's stuck, it's stuck!! I can't get him out! Help me, help me I need to birth him!"
You feel around the head and slip your fingers in under my clit and deeper inside. I moan as you finger my poor, swollen, birthing pussy. You don't find the shoulders, like you expected, but manage to hook your finger around an arm.
"Okay, I've got it! Push! Push for me!"
"Nnnnnghh- AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" I scream in pain as my hole opens wider as I push. This gives you the perfect opportunity to pull the arm free, sweeping it down over the baby's face.
"That's it! He's coming! Come on, big push! One more big push! PUSH!"
I throw back my head and roar, pushing as hard as I can. You pull and pull, and the rest of the baby begins to slide free of my pussy. With a sudden gush the other arm pops free, born up to the waist. I feel the relief wash over me.
I stop for a moment and breathe, the baby halfway out between my legs beginning to sputter and cry. "You did it!" you cheer. "There's our baby, he's finally here!"
I roll my hips and give one more little shove, and the baby comes slithering the rest of the way out. I collapse with exhaustion for the moment, and you gather your crying baby in your arms for the first time.
#op
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